Sex tip: If heâs pressuring you to do anal, buy a dildo the same size as his dick, and ask him to do it first. If heâs scared of the pain- case closed. Thereâs absolutely no reason that he should expect it to feel any differently for you. If he says that it would be emasculating, belittling or âgayâ, then that man is a misogynistic homophobe, and you better run for the hills as fast as your legs can take you.
Iâm screaming
Take it like a man
What if he says yes
then you start making memories
Weâre homophobic if we donât wanna take a dildo in the ass now? đ„Ž
Youâre homophobic if you say itâs âgay, belittling or emasculatingâ to receive anal. And youâre misogynist/a shitty person if you have to use pressure to get your partner to do it, but you donât want to do it yourself because youâre afraid of the pain. Donât ask anyone else to go through what youâd consider painful for your pleasure if theyâre not into it and donât use pressure.
And like, actual decent men may, because of the way our society is set up, need that object lesson.
If you present the dildo to him and say âyou firstâ and he says âeeeeh, I donât really want to?â you can say âOkay, thatâs fine, I wonât force you, but I donât really want to, either. So donât I deserve the same respect Iâm giving you by not pressuring you into it?â
If he argues or says âitâs differentâ or makes excuses? DUMP HIM. he is not safe and you should move on.
If he says âoh, fuck, I didnât think of it like that, itâs ok if you donât want to weâll do other thingsâ, then heâs at least got basic decency and you can test him for more intensive limits at your leisure.
Ok but if he says âIâd actually really like to try that anywayâ – heâs a keeper and you should instantly propose to that man
This is dumb. If you think your girl would enjoy anal then sort of by definition youâd enjoy her pegging you. Itâs the same anatomy either way.
This has been my answer when someone asked if she could peg me, so it goes both ways.
But really, if somebody gets it in the ass everybody gets it in the ass is as good a filter of interest as any.
Now mind you itâs also dumb because there are all kinds of reasons for recievor giving anal. Not all of them are sensual – some are social or psychological. And not everyone experiences receiving anal the same way. I happen to have a ânumb buttâ for instance. So penetration doesnât hurt but it doesnât feel like much of anything either. For others itâs evidently pretty uncomfortable (though I suspect itâs usually more the partnerâs fault) and for still others receiving anal is fabulous.
Still going to say the everybody or nobody rule is a very good starting place.
(Note: from a penisâs point of view it feels almost exactly the same.)