This, actually. I’m a very earnest kinky Daddy. I’ll cheerfully fuck your freshly spanked ass without loosening my grip on the belt around your throat, and then solemnly stay up all night helping you prep for a big presentation in the morning, make you breakfast, and mean it when I say, from the bottom of my heart, “go get em, tiger.”
Sex tip: If he’s pressuring you to do anal, buy a dildo the same size as his dick, and ask him to do it first. If he’s scared of the pain- case closed. There’s absolutely no reason that he should expect it to feel any differently for you. If he says that it would be emasculating, belittling or ‘gay’, then that man is a misogynistic homophobe, and you better run for the hills as fast as your legs can take you.
I’m screaming
Take it like a man
What if he says yes
then you start making memories
We’re homophobic if we don’t wanna take a dildo in the ass now? 🥴
You’re homophobic if you say it’s “gay, belittling or emasculating” to receive anal. And you’re misogynist/a shitty person if you have to use pressure to get your partner to do it, but you don’t want to do it yourself because you’re afraid of the pain. Don’t ask anyone else to go through what you’d consider painful for your pleasure if they’re not into it and don’t use pressure.
And like, actual decent men may, because of the way our society is set up, need that object lesson.
If you present the dildo to him and say “you first” and he says “eeeeh, I don’t really want to?” you can say “Okay, that’s fine, I won’t force you, but I don’t really want to, either. So don’t I deserve the same respect I’m giving you by not pressuring you into it?”
If he argues or says “it’s different” or makes excuses? DUMP HIM. he is not safe and you should move on.
If he says “oh, fuck, I didn’t think of it like that, it’s ok if you don’t want to we’ll do other things”, then he’s at least got basic decency and you can test him for more intensive limits at your leisure.
Ok but if he says “I’d actually really like to try that anyway” – he’s a keeper and you should instantly propose to that man
This is dumb. If you think your girl would enjoy anal then sort of by definition you’d enjoy her pegging you. It’s the same anatomy either way.
This has been my answer when someone asked if she could peg me, so it goes both ways.
But really, if somebody gets it in the ass everybody gets it in the ass is as good a filter of interest as any.
Now mind you it’s also dumb because there are all kinds of reasons for recievor giving anal. Not all of them are sensual – some are social or psychological. And not everyone experiences receiving anal the same way. I happen to have a “numb butt” for instance. So penetration doesn’t hurt but it doesn’t feel like much of anything either. For others it’s evidently pretty uncomfortable (though I suspect it’s usually more the partner‘s fault) and for still others receiving anal is fabulous.
Still going to say the everybody or nobody rule is a very good starting place.
(Note: from a penis’s point of view it feels almost exactly the same.)
Not to be a bottom but i Love being used as a toy…im always down to reciprocate of course but when dudes just wanna pound u and bite u and call u pretty names and pin u down while u just take it…thats my favourite thing
I wouldn’t be a top if this didn’t make me Feel All The Things, would I?
There’s nothing wrong with Subs who want their Doms to give them rules and tasks… but I’m a Daddy, not a Dom. And while it’s delightful holding you accountable for goals you set for yourself, I seriously enjoy saying “Let Daddy do that, cheez-it, you’re too smol.”
Men enjoy a lot of things. Tightness is just one of many. Tightness can’t hold a candle to that sensation of feeling a girl’s cunt growing more and more slippery and hungry, of hearing those delicious squishing sounds as you pump, of feeling her juices slowly coating your balls, of hearing her moan like a feral animal when you growl in her ear “You dirty fucking slut, look at how wet your cunt is for me …”
Yeah, I’m not sure about that whole thing about “tightness” being the highest virtue anyway. Also, not to sound older or more experienced but both vaginas and anuses aren’t simply “holes.” Instead they’re both fairly complex organs with intricate voluntary and involuntary muscles. So depending on mood, circumstances, degree of enthusiasm, exhaustion, and experience both can be equally “tight” or “loose.” An experienced partner can squeeze you almost as firmly as they can with their hand.
But…
You ever tried to give someone a handjob while squeezing as hard as you can? Did he let you continue or did he say “woah, WTF?”
Again, “tightness” isn’t the best metric of men’s sexual enjoyment.
Another thing: while the entrance of the vagina, like the anus, are pretty muscular, that’s not true for either the inside of the vagina nor the rectum. They’re both actually pretty soft and “open” inside. So at least from a pure sensation standpoint both from initial penetration and while deep inside, what the man feels is pretty similar.
On the other hand if you’ve got both a vagina and an ass the sensations can be profoundly different. Which means strictly in terms of sensation an older, experienced gentleman (at least this one, and @instructor144 too it sounds like) will probably prefer vaginal intercourse he’ll agree to anal intercourse when politely asked.
Of course there’s more to it than the man’s sensation, isn’t there? For whatever reason we attach alllll kinds of taboos to anal sex. For some reason it’s considered naughtier, nastier, more “wild,” or more submissive when you… well… submit to it. And since it can be more painful (hey, a lot of women find vaginal penetration painful too though) it’s also considered more exotic, or rare, or a bigger “score” for some men if they can get you to let them do it.
Nothing wrong with that. Not particularly.
So sometime in the 1800s someone – often Mark Twain – is quoted as saying if peanuts were rare and sturgeon abundant, the upper crust would put peanut butter on their canapes instead of caviar.
That’s sort of how I feel about anal vs. vaginal sex: if anal sex was the universal standard then the same doodledoms who now go on and on about anal would be singing the praises of vaginas as the “ultimate” in tightness.
Again, if you have a vagina as well as an anus then you might feel there’s a big difference. But from your partner’s perspective it’s going to be way more about scarcity and drama than the actual physical sensation.
If you’re a man your mileage may, of course, vary. But I bet it doesn’t vary much.
Which reminds me. For all the fascination with anal, and claims that it’s orgasmic, isn’t it funny that more hetero men aren’t into getting pegged? Or at least wearing butt plugs?
I mean, it really is pretty much the same anatomy, same muscles, same nerve endings, same neural pathways to the brain.
Don’t get me wrong. Quite a few women don’t enjoy it either. Nor do something approaching a majority of gay men.
But some very definitely and emphatically do. Enough that it’s probably more of a general phenomenon that a gendered one, hmmm?
As bad luck would have it I’ve got a pretty numb butt. So putting things in it doesn’t hurt the way it’s so-often represented in porn, but it doesn’t feel particularly good the way it’s represented in porn either.
But at least I gave it a good hetero college try with a hetero-partner-approved toy.
So anyway I can completely understand why a lot of people aren’t particularly into it. But I also can’t understand why more aren’t into it.
Hmm, I wonder if it’s because so many hetero men thing butt sex with their hetero partners would make them Teh Gay.
Can’t be that, of course, because it would be just as “gay” to want to stick your dick in your girlfriend’s butt, right? Right?
🤷♂️
So here it is on an actual Tuesday night and there are probably a lot more people (who think they’re kinky) who could have something in their butts wondering how they got there on a Tuesday night.
Don’t let silly-assed (heh) stereotypes get in the way of things you might enjoy if you tried it.
(Though don’t worry, chances are that like most people, straight and gay, you probably wouldn’t enjoy something in your butt.)
By Thomas Oldenough | June 27, 2019 | Comments Off on My dominant told me I’m a bad sub because I won’t do anal. But I just said I want to do training first cause I’ve never done it. He wants to just stick it in. “If it bleeds, it bleeds.” I’m scared.
You should be scared. And you should run, not walk, for the exit before this bastard fucks you up bad. Seriously. Run.
A Dominant who does not care about their submissive’s physical health should not be a Dominant. It is no exaggeration to say you should leave him immediately. The lack of care for you and the way he dismisses your concerns are, as they say, more red flags than a Chinese military parade.
Everyone else is covering the obvious get-the-hell-out side, and that’s the most important part of all. I’m going to cover the experience side of this, because I feel pretty strongly that a lot of what we see as callous, selfish thuggishness is often a thin layer of bluster over sheer ignorance and inexperience.
So many years ago there was an awesome blogger, an outrageously wild and smart as hell switch, who was totally fine with the receiving end of anal… but also literally obsessed with pegging. Her perfectly reasonable but immutable rule was “if anyone gets it in the ass, everyone gets it in the ass.” (This is still one of the best rules ever!)
My guess is the poor anon’s partner (let’s not call him a “dom”) has no fucking clue what it’s like to get something stuck up one’s ass. And therefore no sympathy, empathy, consideration, or concept of what it’s all really about.
And that’s why I think it’s not a good idea to call him a “Dom.” Because actual, real Doms totally get into their Sub’s experience.
Pro BDSM tip: There’s at least a non-zero possibility that he’s never done anal with anyone and he’s trying to bluster his way through his inexperience and/or incompetence.
While it’s completely and totally legitimate for an experienced Sub to shepherd their Dom through new things… and even fine if they lead their Dom-in-training to believe it’s all their idea… it’s never anybody’s responsibility to put up with their partner’s inexperienced bullshit.
Comments Off on My dominant told me I’m a bad sub because I won’t do anal. But I just said I want to do training first cause I’ve never done it. He wants to just stick it in. “If it bleeds, it bleeds.” I’m scared.
“…apparently America’s Most Hirsute Pickup Artist has tweeted a video of himself explaining that Cardi B’s buttocks-intensive new video is a plot to make men gay.”
Man but “pickup artists” and similar species of incels are an anxious bunch of snowflakes!
If they can’t tell the difference between women’s butts and men’s… I mean wtf?!?!
