BDSM: 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 Yes please! So good!!! Tie me up! Beat me! Fuck me! Yeeees!😍😍😍😍😍 Domestic abuse: go die in a hole
Misogyny/misandry play: So hot! Very sexy! Yes Sir, I am your worthless little fucktoy and please use me like one.😳😳😳 Actual sexism: Get your head out of the 19th century and grow up
Raceplay: Hell yeah! I’m your inferior asian slut! Use me! Racism: Fuck your own ass with a cactus please.
Petplay: My favorite. Pretty please call me kitty when you fuck me. (also when you dont)😻😻😻😻 Bestiality: Just don’t. Animals cant consent friend.
DDlg: Sure, daddy, let’s play. 😘😘😘 Actual peodophilia, child abuse: Don’t fuck children! Do I actually have to explain this to people? Like, they are children. They can’t consent. Okay.
Dub-con/rapeplay: Super fun. Use me while I scream for you to stop. 😏😏😏 Rape: no. No. NO! NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! NONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!!! Just No! No excuses! No she (or he) is not asking for it. No “I made a mistake”. No no no no no! Consent is everything and if you don’t respect that you should rot in a jail cell at the absolute bare minimum.
Hope this cleared some stuff up😘 This ends your PSA, please feel free to return to your regularly scheduled pornography. (sorry for all the cussing and agressiveness. I have strong feelings here)
This. This this this this.
Always good to keep things clear.
Don’t overthink this. A rollercoaster is exciting because it’s a voluntary, controlled experience Being trapped on a runaway train is terrifying and dangerous. Skydiving is voluntary and exciting. Falling out of an airplane… isn’t.
Things partners do together are categorically different from things one person does to an involuntary victim. This is true even if all parties have been partners in other activities. It’s true even if the victim has previously participated enthusiastically.
Forcing someone on a rollercoaster when they’re not in the mood is categorically different from them asking to join you. Even if they’ve ridden in rollercoasters with you before.
Partners doing things together is categorically different from coercion, badgering, bribing, intoxicating, or seducing someone to get them to do something they don’t want to do.
Just a head’s up for all the guys who worry about being “manly” or not being “masculine” and “will not putting a ‘gas, grass, or ass’ bumper sticker on my car make me look gay?” Something like 40% of women in Western Civilization and elsewhere would cheerfully peel this man out of his white duck pants and fly-collar polo and not let him up till they’d had his baby.
Wear what you want. Say what you want. Do what you want. Don’t worry what anyone else thinks. That’s all you need to know about being a “real” man. Ok. That and shower occasionally and don’t get too full of yourself.
Pro tip from an older, experienced gentleman for low-information, zero-experience boys: There’s generally a pussy between a girl’s legs. And a butthole. And maybe a little butt-crack lint if you’ve been wearing flannel pajamas. And that’s about it. No butterflies. No secrets. Just a little anatomy.
Not to be a grumpy Daddy or anything but anyone who imagines your only “secrets” are between your legs they’ve got a pretty goddamn low opinion of you, don’t they?
Look. It’s ok to like assholes with shitty opinions. Or to be attracted to them. Or even to prefer them over everyone else. Lots of people do!
But you don’t have to listen to them, you don’t have to respect them, and you sure as hell don’t have to believe them.
It’s been almost a year since the corporate incels who runTumblr’s corporate owners wet their pants. Luckily they haven’t figured out that “female-presenting kisses” are even more erotic than “female-presenting nipples…”
By Thomas Oldenough | December 2, 2019 | Comments Off on Why does BDSM have to involve pushing the s-type’s boundaries so often? Can it be valid D/s if nobody’s boundaries are being pushed? I’m not interested in pushing the boundaries of others but I’m definitely not vanilla/egalitarian. I limit my dominance/sadism to people who can ignore it at least, enthusiastically like it at most, whose boundaries aren’t anywhere near anything I’d do. Is this not a way to be a d-type?
BDSM doesn’t *have* to involve pushing boundaries, at least not in the sense that it seems like you are thinking. I think a lot of people misunderstand what people are saying when they talk about pushing them, and that’s really on those of us who write about kink because we don’t always explain ourselves well.
In my experience, there are two different types of boundaries- there are those that someone doesn’t want pushed, and those that they do. It’s basically similar to the concept of soft limits vs hard limits. A soft limit should be approached with care and only after discussion, whereas a hard limit should never be approached at all.
With boundaries, there are going to be times when someone genuinely wants those pushed, and that’s when it comes into play. Maybe they feel like they don’t tolerate pain well but are super interested in seeing how far they can take it, for example. Or maybe they are trying to overcome an aversion to toys. It could be any number of things depending on the person. Those cases are the ones wherein the d-type should be pushing boundaries, but of course just as with a soft-limit, there needs to be discussion beforehand and the situation needs to be approached with an abundance of care.
But again, that’s only when the s-type genuinely wants to test those boundaries. There is *nothing* that says we (as d-types) should be pushing every boundary. Frankly, if a partner tells me they arent comfortable with something and doesn’t express a desire to get comfortable with it, I treat it like a hard limit until they tell me otherwise. There is a big difference between “I’m not great with pain but it’s something I really want to work on” and “I don’t enjoy pain”, you know? And while it certainly merits discussion if someone’s boundaries/limits are your “must haves”, one of the cardinal sins a d-type can commit is to try and persuade someone into doing something they don’t want to do.
Also worth mentioning: d-types have limits and boundaries too, and if one of your boundaries is that you don’t want to push anyone else’s boundaries, that’s absolutely valid! You’re not doing it “wrong” because there isn’t one objectively “right” way to do this. I have plenty of limits and boundaries for myself and every other d-type I know does too.
The bottom line is you’re absolutely well within your rights to not want to push someone’s boundaries! Just make sure that whoever you play with understands that so that you can both be on the same page, because some people are genuinely looking to have at least some of their boundaries pushed.
Thank you for writing in! Best of luck on your path!
-LMS
So nicely said! It’s pretty important to recognize the difference between D/S or S&M kinks and, you know, psychopathology and dissociation. Or abuse and codependence.
Comments Off on Why does BDSM have to involve pushing the s-type’s boundaries so often? Can it be valid D/s if nobody’s boundaries are being pushed? I’m not interested in pushing the boundaries of others but I’m definitely not vanilla/egalitarian. I limit my dominance/sadism to people who can ignore it at least, enthusiastically like it at most, whose boundaries aren’t anywhere near anything I’d do. Is this not a way to be a d-type?
Not saying Captain Marvel is a Little, or that she’s gay, bi, or straight, or pan or ace, or that shed be dominant or submissive or plain old vanilla with a partner. Just saying this is an awesome reminder that every stereotype is a lie.
4. Using editing applications, perform the following edits: adjust brightness +33%, adjust exposure -25%, warmth -10%, increase sharpness 50%, use focus and vignettes to highlight, give it a Durango filter at 20%, and export.
5. Locate the pic in your photo album
6. Hit the trash 🗑 icon. There is no such thing as the ultimate dick pick, or even a good one. Did you really think there was?
7. Find something else to take a picture of and share.
JD
… unless they asked to see it, obviously. But do remember that even then it’s not a “dick pic” it’s a solicited request. Big difference.
Nope. Real men never use the phrase “real men.” It’s like how smart people don’t have to say they’re smart.
AHAHAHAH!!!! “Real” men! AHAHAHAH!!!!
Yeah, “real man” = “slavishly cut away all the parts other ‘real men’ cut away.”
My favorite story about masculinity, from an old pre-toxic-masculinity (and also pre-animal-rights) men’s author.
So a Spanish matador had had a spectacular victory in the bull ring. Afterwards all his friends and fellow matadors joined him at his place for a night of drinking and dining.
After the dinner the great matador put on an apron and started washing dishes. “Oh Matador, his friend said, do you think washing dishes is masculine?”
The great matador threw up his hands and roared “EVERYTHING I do is masculine!”
And you want to know something? Goddamn right!
If you’re a man, however you choose to define “man,” then by definition everything you do is “masculine.”
The whole “real man” business is strictly about anxiety, conformity, timidity, insecurity.
Whether you wrestle women and fuck bears or skip to work carrying a purse, if you’re a man you’re a real man, period, full stop.
Me? I know where your clitoris is. I care if you’re a PhD or CEO because good for you! Fun, flirtatious, fit, and friendly? Great! Everybody should be those things, not just women. And… wait a second… “chaste?” What does that have to do with anything?!?!? Because, yeah, “real men” don’t want you to want to have sex with us either, I guess… which I suppose makes them either gay men, asexual men, or incels – all of which are, you know, still men.
Fucking gender is such an idiotic social construct!
WTF with people thinking random gay people need to try switching orientations just to “make sure?” When, yeah, most of the folks who say it wouldn’t want to try it.
Look. There are almost always plenty of people who’d want to have sex with you if you’d just give them a chance. If you don’t think so you’re probably just not paying attention.
So why go out of your way for someone who clearly doesn’t want to?
