Don’t know if you remember me, I’m the anon who met the Dom in the wild last fall. Unfortunately we didn’t move forward because I was hung up on another man, and I was honest with him about that. He called today asking if I’d like to meet for dinner sometime. My hang up was unreliable and we recently ended things after not seeing each other for over two months. I don’t want to be too eager but my need to serve is overwhelming along with simply needing to feel wanted. Yay or nay to dinner?
I’m a bit leery of the idea of dinner, because of this statement: “my need to serve is overwhelming along with simply needing to feel wanted.” Nowhere do I see anything like “His personality and mine mesh so well” or “he seems like an amazing person who I’d love to have a relationship with.” All I see is “my need to serve” and “need to feel wanted.” See the problem here?
Lovely points by @instructor144: there’s nothing wrong with casual hookups to scratch an itch as long as you’re 100% clear with each other. But just as I’d be wary of someone’s motivations if they said “I have a date with a pair of 44 tits” or “I want to try that 9-inch dick” I agree that “my need to serve” is also only wanting someone’s attributes – the what they are and not who they are.
Again, nothing wrong with that as long as you’re clear. But! Actual D/S, as opposed to a weekend of slap and tickle, tends to be more about kink in a relationship. And we have relationships with people not their attributes.
I’d be less likely to say “don’t do dinner,” but I’d say yeah, better keep being honest about what you’re dealing with in yourself.
I’ll often say “a good top will…” but in this case I honestly can’t say what a good top would choose in this situation. It’s possible he might be courteous and help the anon work through her feelings (without necessarily taking her on as a partner) but I could also see him equally courteously declining.
Going to be generous and say perhaps there’s been more personal communication between them than she let on and wish them the best of luck.
