Hi hello, it’s the girl who was saying she couldn’t come from a partner.. thank you so much for such a kind, detailed post. I think my main problem is that I’ve never been in a long term relationship- strict parents ftw! even though i’m 19 i still had to sneak around and only sleep w people. I’ve never gotten the chance to open up with someone about how difficult it is for others to make me come i guess..
Thank you so much for following up. That’s very kind of you to let me know.
I’ll just add that you’re not alone. At all. I promise your parents just wanted you to be safe and ok and to grow up to be a happy, healthy adult. But, yeah, sometimes parents go too far. Again, to be fair, we’re born with operations guides printed on our butts. But sometimes the rules that make sense when you’re 12 don’t get revised to the realities of us being 18. Or 28.
Most of us end up sneaking around, I think. I mean, the only thing worse than getting caught and punished might be getting caught and your parents wanting to celebrate it to their sex-positive friends.
But you’re 19. And learning to come with a partner takes practice and the cooperation of partners who are interested as well as interesting.
It’s ok to start now. Part of practice is letting them know. And learning what you need as well as want. That may take a few tries to make it seem like an opportunity for your partners. But it’ll be worth it.
Best of luck. And thanks again!
