asubmissiveview:

instructor144:

nicjourney:

This is a first for me and I’m just mind blown. Reaching out to the tribe on this one…. no clue what to do, how to respond, or if I even should respond, or just block him/her? @instructor144 @kittysparkleslove @mrbear215 @cutebutdeadlylittledemon and all the others because I don’t know them all yet.

@nicjourney this is what is known as a “fuckboy,” a particularly loathsome denizen of Tumblr. And my reblog of this is known as a “fuckboy alert.” The folks will do what they do with fuckboys; for your part, block that idiot.

Sorry to hear you’re having issues. It must be difficult to be so
desperate that you blindly reach out to strangers for panty suggestions.
First understand that male incontinence is nothing to be embarrassed
about. It happens to a lot of men, even fuckboys. A quick Google search
and I was able to flesh out (no giggling, little friend!) this option
for you. Note that there is a pink option as well – we don’t judge here
so use whichever makes you feel your best (dry) self. I believe they all
come in an extra small so they will fit your penis perfectly. Stay dry!

Important note: This post relates to brief texts sent via anonymous DM to anonymous recipients.  It does not relate to long, lurid text and definitely doesn’t relate to dick pics or crotch shots.  With that in mind.

Next important note: If you’re not used to getting shit like this in your inbox it feels upsetting as hell. You’re under no obligation not to feel upset.  They’re making presumptions about you that are unwarranted and that you neither requested nor deserved.  I’m sorry that ever happens for so many reasons!  I’m especially sorry it happened to you, the original poster.

—

I get moderately presumptuous one-liner messages like this pretty often but I don’t really think of the correspondents as “fuckgirls.”  I think the psychology of message is complex enough that you can’t automatically label someone as an asshole.  

This doesn’t mean you should assume they’re not assholes.  Just don’t automatically declare them assholes.  

Sometimes they’re just clueless newbies.  Sometimes they’re trying to open with a “bang” in hopes of catching your attention.  Sometimes they’re responding to something you posted days or months ago.  Possibly something you posted totally unzipped a fantasy for them and they imagine you’ll receive their “enthusiasm” in the same spirit you inspired it in them.  Sometimes they foolishlly imagine an “invitation” you drunk or horny posted last night doesn’t disgust you in the cold light of morning.

And, sure, sometimes they’re just plain old fucking assholes, dickwads, dilholes, or dog-lipped bung stoppers.

I’m inviting the OP to adopt this view not out of generosity to their correspondent.  I mean, it’s not your responsibility to interpret someone else’s state of mind.  

Instead I’m suggesting it because it’s less stressful to you!

99% of the time I’ve noticed that if you simply don’t respond then you’ll never hear from them again.  

I can’t prove it for Tumblr but patterns in other platforms suggest that most actual jerks and assholes will pile through a stack of blogs, spamming similar (often copy/pasted) messages to multiple recipients in hopes of getting a reply.  So the chance of them stumbling back across you are pretty low.

And even if they’ve singled you out they still almost never return if you don’t respond.

In all cases, most of the time I just close their chat on my browser or delete the conversation from my app list and go on with my day.

It’s not that they don’t bother me, it’s that I don’t let them bother me, if that makes sense.

If they do make a comeback, or they do bother me, then I’ll block them.  If they really bother me then I’ll stalk their blog, make a decision about whether they’re posting genuinely creepy stuff, and report them if they’re doing anything reportable.  And then I’ll block them.

The point here is that isolated little out-of-the-blue snippets like “What kind of panties are you wearing” or “I’m so wet for you, Daddy” are hard to assess for meaning or relevance.  Since I have exactly zero contact with, experience of, relationship with, or obligation to them I don’t feel obliged to respond.  And you don’t have an obligation to respond either.

Final note about trolls: if you do feel trolled, stalked, or otherwise jeopardized the #1 recommendation from experts with online experience going back to the earliest days of dial-up bulletin boards is: don’t respond!  If they have to send 10 messages before you respond that just sets their expectation: “ok, it takes 10 messages to get this one to respond.”  If it takes 100 messages they’ll just set that expectation instead. Because what motivates and gratifies them is getting that response.

Way up top I said don’t label every person who contacts you with out of the blue “solicitations” is an asshole.  Because it’s more stressful if you do that.  But!  It’s ok to assume that everyone to drops something like that on you could be a troll.  And rule #1 is “don’t feed the trolls.”

The end result is the same, right?  You either ignore them (all you need to do 90% of the time), block them (9.9%), or if necessary report them (.1% of the time.)  But taking that approach is just better for your own mental health.

Finally, because some people genuinely are newbies, or shy, or clumsy (especially if their native language isn’t the same as yours), giving one small iota of benefit-of-the-doubt keeps the blowback they receive proportionate: they say something ignorable so you ignore them.

Bottom line: when people say ignorable things, ignore them.  When they say actionable things take action (block or report.)  And in all cases don’t respond directly because if they’re trolls or stalkers you’ve just made their day.

Best of luck!  Best of all possible luck. 

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