Do daddy’s lose sex drive as they get older or is that just a rumor?
The short answer is yes, sometime after age 30 men’s levels of testosterone begin to decline, and meanwhile their levels of something called sex-hormone-binding globulin starts to increase. As a result by age 70 a man’s available testosterone levels are about 70% of their peak.
That sounds terrible but it’s worth noting that men’s testosterone production varies by about 30% roughly every 24 hours! (And everyone says women are “hormonal!” Ahahah! Fuck them!)
Anyway, 70% is still plenty for normal sexual response, interest, enthusiasm, etc. On average a man in his 70s will be more arousable at 10:00 at night than a man in his 30s will be at 4:00 in the afternoon.
🤷♂️
So what’s going on? Where does that “lose sex drive as we get older” business come from?
Well. Overall health plays a big part of it! It’s pretty common for men to stop exercising and eating well as we age, for instance, leading to circulatory problems – heart and arterial disease are bigger factors with erection problems than testosterone levels, for instance. Alcohol, tobacco and other drugs take a serious toll on human bodies the longer we use them.
And something that’s usually not taken into account with these things is our partners, who generally are experiencing the age, health, and interest-and-or-disinterest levels we are.
That last bit is pretty important. There’s a similarly persistent, scurrilous rumor that lesbian couples experience something called “lesbian bed death,” where after just a year or two of cohabitation or marriage they may stop having sex altogether. Tip: it’s not just lesbians and it’s not just women and it’s not just older men.
I’ve mentioned the relationship expert Esther Perel several times in this blog. In her very cool book Mating in Captivity she talks about an issue of what she labels “intimacy vs mystery” that she asserts is responsible for a lot of loss of interest in any relationship. This is high-level handwaving but in a nutshell she says that the more completely you know someone the more difficult it is to become aroused with them. Not necessarily because you’re bored by the way, but because the closer you are the more easy it is to “do that later.” Where “that” includes but isn’t at all limited to sex. The point being that familiarity grows over time, and if too much familiarity can affect our sex drives then all else being equal the age of the relationship may be as big a factor as the age of the partners.
So! About your question about Daddies in particular.
One summer vacation when I was 16 or 17 I laid in bed and masturbated 22 times in 22 hours. When I was 19 a young woman and I had sex for almost 20 hours straight! (Not all intercourse, but never really stopping being sexual.) When I was 26 a very enthusiastic partner wrung five orgasms out of me… and the last one felt like someone was pulling a string from somewhere deep inside of me – very pleasurable but also raw and almost agonizing. Until my late 50s I masturbated twice a day, every day, whether I’d also had sex or not. Now I masturbate once a day unless…
Unless I’m with a partner for sex, in which case it seems I can still play for hours.
So yes. If you count masturbation then my “sex drive” has dropped by about 50% since my 20s. But if you count having sex it’s… well… I’m probably only going to come once instead of five or 22(!!!) and I may stop for rest, water breaks, to go out for meals and sight-seeing, and naps… but experience suggests you’ll need rest, water breaks, and you’ll be napping with me. So…
Age has an impact, for sure, but it seems like a healthy, engaged Daddy with a healthy, engaging partner isn’t likely to slow down too much. And if he does it might not be entirely related to his birthday count.
Hope that helps answer the question a little bit. It’s a good question though. Thank you for asking it!
