hi. i sort of need some advice. I’m 19 and have been talking to a guy who is 34. I am very interested in him and it seems he is the same with me. He doesn’t have a car and neither do I, we’re about an hour away from each other. I met him the first time last weekend and i’m not sure when i’ll see him again.. I don’t know how we’d make dating work, i miss him and don’t wanna make a bad decision and get hurt in the end.. any advice?
Unless of course they are disabled and need assistance but that is a whole new ballpark to play in.Hi! I don’t know all your circumstances or his, but even though you’re 19 I’m going to recommend that you go check out https://scarleteen.com, an awesome, non-judgmental, ethical, and extremely informative sex-education and support site for younger people. As an adult you should treat it as read only and not interact, but you’ll find a ton of resources there about dealing with relationships when you’re both poor, car-less, and when one or both of you are inexperienced.
You mention not wanting to make bad decisions and not wanting to get hurt in the end. I’ll just say there’s quite a lot of sometimes hard-nosed, experience-based, practical advice about larger age differences. Including whole laundry lists of things to look out for – not only in older partners but in yourself.
That said, you are both adults so I’m not going to say “nope.” You’ve met him once in person and seem to be interested in seeing him again. You live just far enough apart that your travel limitations really get in the way. You’ll also find very good advice on Scarleteen about what it takes to be financially, emotionally, and physically able to have an independent relationship. Including, again, some fairly hard-nosed checklists that make it easy to tell not only if you’re ready but if you’re able as well.
Update! In comments @his-country-princess added “Unless of course [you and/or he] are disabled and need assistance but that is a whole new ballpark to play in.” This had crossed my mind but since you didn’t mention it I didn’t bring it up. But! Scarletten being awesome I’m pretty sure they address working with different abilities as well.
Thank you so much for asking. I wish I could give better advice. But for your and his situations I think you’ll find better resources at Scarleteen.
Good luck, ok?
