Hi! I wanted to ask, since you like making a girl cum, would you be down to deny her orgasms if that was what she would be interested in? Making her happy is obviously a priority and that kind of answers the question, but I wanted to know your thoughts on denial and how it would feel in comparison to making her cum.

badbitchvelma:

oldenoughtobeyourfather:

bearded-daddy:

I am absolutely, without a doubt, 100% all for tease and denial and edging. One of My favorite things…

This is an odd one for me.  I haven’t been able to come more than maybe five times in a day since my mid-twenties.  By my 30s three times in 24 hours left me feeling a little stringy.  And now that I’m much older once or maybe twice a day is plenty.  Since I adore sex and sex play I’ve always thoroughly enjoyed edging and teasing, and as an older man that just means I get to enjoy a lot more of it.

Which makes me a bit of a hypocrite when I say while I also love teasing and edging a partner it’s only so her eventual orgasm can be more intense… but I get exactly no, zero, none pleasure from the idea of her simply not coming at all.  

So teasing and edging, yes, denying?  Nope.  

It’s like leaving a birthday party before they serve the cake.  Like watching fireworks but going home before the grand finale.  Like reading a whodunnit but never reading the big reveal in the last chapter.  

Well.  Or it’s like spending an hour, a morning, an afternoon, or all day winding a partner into a delirious, gurgly, squirmy, needy mess and… not helping her come!

I mean… it’s fine if you don’t know how to make a birthday cake, or you’re too cheap to buy fireworks, or if you’re not curious about whodunit, or… if you don’t actually know how to give a partner an orgasm.

There are plenty of folks in the latter camp, I guess.  Like, oh, say, the entirety of Western (and eastern, and northern, and southern) Civilization for all but maybe the most recent 50 of the last 3500 years…

But the same folks also used to poop in holes in the back yard, thought public executions were grand entertainment, didn’t understand communicable diseases, and had an average life expectancy of around 35 years.

I’m not excited to do any of those things either.

Nothing wrong with enjoying orgasm denial.  It would be reasonable to accuse me of putting them off myself!  But I like it… really like it… a lot!… when my partners come.

So fite me if you must, puddlejumper, but Daddy’s always gonna want to hear you sing!

I hate edging. Honestly, that’s not how my body works. Edging is like a great way to make it so I can’t cum at all. I lose the orgasm.

Reminds me of an ex of mine who would try to edge me. I would never get off. I never found it sexy, I always found edging to be a manipulative, shitty thing. What a selfish piece of shit. I would get so irritated when he would try it out.

I want as many orgasms as I’m going to have. If you wont give me one, I’ll make myself cum. I don’t find edging sexy.

Making your partner orgasm is a beautiful and sexy thing. I prefer forced orgasm play. I love riding a guy and knowing that I made him cum and continuing to ride him til he goes soft. If you’re gonna its gonna be intense. I’d rather see how many times I can cum until my body can’t take any more and I might pass out. That’s plenty intense and each O is even more powerful.

Edging can go fuck itself.

Please note this important update from @badbitchvelma about edging!

The big takeaway, as always, is have sex with the person you’re with, not the one you were with last time or the one you wish you were with.  Did edging work spectacularly for your last partner?  Great.  Have you always fantasized about sticking your thumb in your partner’s ass when they come totally float your boat?  Nice fantasy!  Do you love how slam-bam porn-star-spit blowjobs look in… well… porn?  Fine!  Long as you know those things don’t work at all for most people.  And therefore chances are good they’re not going to work for your partner either.

For instance, my second partner and I enjoyed teasing and edging.  The longer she held off the harder her orgasms.  Awesome, right?  Well, yes it certainly was… but my first partner could lose her edge from a misplaced drop of sweat and it would throw her into an angry ball of despair for the rest of the weekend.  They were both perfectly normal people, and sex with both was great, but they were completely different perfectly normal people. 

So, again, have sex with your actual partner and nobody else.

Bit of clarification, by the way.  Usually when I say “edging” I mean “building up to a really good orgasm.”  And in technical terms, “extending the arousal and plateau phases for the optimal amount of time to ensure a good orgasm.”  This doesn’t seem to be everyone else’s definition, but I highly recommend it.

The other common definition seems to be “going right to the edge of orgasm and then stopping,” which for some can be delicious brinksmanship and for others is more aggravating and frustrating than an interrupted sneeze.  And a bigger buzzkill.

Yes, there are plenty of Submissive (and vanilla!) Tumblr bloggers who absolutely adore orgasm denial for days or even months, and quite a few who wax rhapsodic about their desire for “ruined” orgasms.  They make it sound sooo hot, but that’s because it actually is hot… for them!

But in real life fewer than 1 in 50 people enjoy any of that.  So, again, chances are a rounding error away from zero that your new partner will enjoy it either.

Just gonna say that fucking around and backing off when someone’s about to go off, a.k.a. “ruined” orgasms that actually ruins their orgasms?  Well, ok, everybody makes mistakes when they’re with a new partner.  But you better apologize, and you better be damned sure you have clear, enthusiastic consent before you ruin their orgasm twice.

Have sex with your partner, and nobody else.

0