Non-kinksters don’t get that in kink relationships there’s no such thing as a passive partner.  That’s the key that distinguishes it from use, abuse, transactional sex, and too much vanilla sex.

Kink is about actively sharing and participating in what you both want to do.  What gives you both a “happy buzz.”

Kink is sex play, and the thing about play is you only do it if you both enjoy it.