Help! I need a dom/daddy, but how can I find one or identify one organically? I mean, in real life not online through apps. I’m in my early 20’s and am tired of dating apps or other internet forms. I really want to meet someone naturally that’s also into kink. Any suggestions or signs to look out for? Besides attending kink events/munches. And how can I convey my non-vanilla preferences? Thanks!

Thank you for asking (three times though?  Maybe Tumblr’s just glitching.)

Sadly I’m afraid I can’t help much, except in the most general terms.

PLEASE NOTE: the next section is not specifically aimed at you, it’s just a general observation – I’m sure you were just trying to be concise in your ask.  The next section does, however, reflect an observation I’ve made when a number of Littles have contacted me.

I’ve met most of the Littles I know because they’ve messaged me to say not just “hi” or “will you be my daddy” but something specific about a post I’ve written, or with a question I can answer.

In other words (and here’s the important part of my answer) they’ve approached me as a human being and not just a “Daddy” or “Dom.”

Ok.  So.

What would you say if someone posted a personal ad that said “I need a wife?”  Or “I need a boyfriend?”

That’s a perfectly reasonable thing to say when you’re posting an ad for a plumber: you’ve got a leaky pipe and you don’t really care who can fix it as long as they can fix it.  You want to hire a plumber for what they can do, not who they are.

Saying “I need a dom/daddy” or “I need a sub/little” probably isn’t going to get you very credible replies.  Just as a plumber will answer because they want to fix pipes and don’t much care whose pipes they do it to, someone who’d reply to “I need a dom/daddy” just wants to… lay a different kind of pipe and don’t particularly care whose it is.

Not what most of us are looking for in a relationship.  Most Daddies and most Doms don’t just want to be with people instead of things for partners, they want to be treated as people and not things as well.

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As for non-munch/non-kink-community real-life events places to meet prospective experienced Doms or Daddies?  I’m sorry but my suggestions would probably be no better than random chance.

I allow comments on my posts and I’ll invite others to either say something there or repost with better answers on their blogs.  if I see something promising I’ll update this post with their suggestions.

Thanks so much for asking and I’m sorry I can’t be more help.  It’s an important question and a big source of frustration and a lot of Littles would love to know the answer.  Best of luck, ok?

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