Can we please stop shaming people who don’t like period sex?
[original ask] Can we please stop shaming people who don’t like period sex? Can we stop insulting them? It’s not okay to shame people just because they don’t like a certain sex act. It never has been and it’s not now. As a woman I hate it. I think it’s gross. A man should be able to feel the same way granted he’s not being a dick about it. There is a difference between being childish about periods/period sex and simply finding it gross or uncomfortable. Additionally some people have blood phobias.
Agreed, with the caveat that you called out: he’s not being a dick about it. If it’s a hard limit for the guy, he is well within his rights to flag it as such, as long as he handles it maturely and compassionately.
In my book, it’s cool if a person doesn’t want to have sex with me while I’m on my period. But exaggerated “eww” reactions or calling it “crime scene sex” definitely don’t make me ever want to be naked with a person.
Agreed. I like period sex because it helps with the cramps. But it doesn’t bother me if you don’t. What DOES bother me is if you’re a child about it. Because those are the same guys who want you to double-bag your tampons and nobody has time for that bullshit.
Allllll of this
First of all let’s define “period sex.” While some people don’t want to be sexual at all during their periods, unless you’re a Victorian missionary or suffering from Victorian missionary indoctrination the word “sex” covers a heck of a lot of territory, doesn’t it?
If by “period sex” you mean penis-in-vagina intercourse – which unfortunately most people seem to – then I don’t really care for it either. It’s not about the mess, which washes up easily enough and even if one is squeamish there are lovely things two people can do in a shower or bath. For me menstrual flow isn’t a very good lubricant – don’t know if this will make sense but it feels “squeaky” to me. I’m also not very fond of the taste.
But OMG, there’s so much more to “sex” than PIV intercourse! Words. Hands. Grinding. Kissing. Vibrators. Even on your “heaviest” days, even when you use pads, the flow almost never makes it as far as your clitoris or clit hood, does it? So many other sex two people can with little or no muss and no fuss at all.
There’s nothing at all wrong with not liking “period” sex. Heck, there’s nothing wrong with not liking sex at all! Everybody can live without sex for 4-7 days, and sometimes it’s good to take a break anyway. But! There’s nothing wrong with enjoying it either, even if you think you “can’t,” won’t, or “shouldn’t.”
It would be really dumb to shame someone for liking it or not liking it. It’s just biology, not a moral dilemma!
One last thing: I tend to get totally, pretty non-sexually attentive when a partner or even a non-sexual friend or family member has her period. Hot packs, backrubs, chocolate runs, ibuprofen and tea caddying, movie watching, and snuggling just feels right when someone’s crampy. Maybe it’s a Daddy thing? Maybe I was raised right? I dunno. I’ve always felt that way. Feels good to take care of people and not just as some kind of counting-the-days-till-you’re-done “foreplay.”
Back during the days of Web 2.0 and individual blogging we used to call this “promoting from the comments.” But I just got to call out this excellent comment from @petsdream
“Sometimes im in the mood for it sometimes not. But for those who call period sex gross buts opts for anal sex baffle me.”
OMG they’ve got a point there don’t they? Ahahah, yeah. “I”m squicked by getting menstrual fluid on my dick so can I put it in your butt” is… just gonna call it absurd because all the other choices are more judgmental, speculative, and way less polite.
