How did you know you wanted to be a daddy?

Awesome question.  I actually never “wanted” to be a Daddy.  In fact, since to the extent I paid attention to D/Lg at all I’d dragged in all the usual negative stereotypes.  

Luckily I had a relationship with a lovely, wise, and generous person who slowly revealed her Little tendencies to me.  And… ok…

Little digression here: When I was a young man growing up all I knew about “homosexuals” was that they offered little boys like me candy and wanted me to get in their cars so run away.  They carried purses.  They wanted to be women.  They hung around in bathrooms and lockerrooms and wanted fuck men in the ass, usually without their permission.

Oh, also, they’d proposition the shit out of you if they picked you up hitch-hiking.  That last bit was actually true… except I’ll explain why it wasn’t in a little bit.

Anyway, I was goddamn terrified of gay men… until I was hanging around with a group of new people in a new town in a new state after leaving home and the one I’d been getting along with best of all was talking about all the ways to pick people up and all the sex he was having and even getting all these things paid for him in exchange for sex.  And, me being a desperately hungry and unemployable young man from east Tennessee, I thought “wow, I’m so going to love living in Boston, this will be great!!!!”  And… as he continued talking it percolated through my tiny little walnut-sized brain that those tips wouldn’t work for me because he was meeting and picking up and turning tricks with other men.  

In other words this guy I’d gotten to know and like, a lot, was teh gay!!!

So I went to the bathroom and looked at myself all over in the mirror to see if I’d gotten any gay cooties on me and…

Nope.  I was the same old me.

And I realized gay people are pretty much just like me, they weren’t ravening molesters, and they were pretty great to hang out with in rough proportion to everyone else in the general population.

He eventually did proposition me once a few months later.  Used my favorite pickup line on me, even, one he in fact had taught me!  “Would you be offended if I made a pass at you?”  And, as he’d also taught me, I said “no, but I’d decline.”  And he said, “oh, ok” and never mentioned it again.

I mentioned earlier about men who’d proposition me when I was hitchhiking.  And how stressful it was because generally they weren’t interested in accepting no as an answer, which left me figuring out how the hell to get out of their car without either them or me resorting to violence.

But guess what?  In retrospect I’m pretty confident that not a single one of those guys was actually gay.  They were all married.  All somewhat older men.  All talked about how their wives weren’t very attractive.  And tried to give me all this “wisdom” about how a hole’s really just a hole to a man.  And how “all men would prefer a tight man’s ass to a flabby old-lady pussy” and… 

Yeah, they weren’t gay in any lifestyle or ethics sort of way, they were just straight, vanilla guys who wanted their rocks off.

So.  So much for that stereotype.

It’s the same thing with the stereotypes I had about Daddies and Littles.  Once I realized the awesome human being I’d been flirting and sharing and sexting with was also a Little, and that she thought I might be a pretty good Daddy, I more discovered I was one before I wanted to be one!

I started this blog maybe two years ago to figure out what the hell “being a Daddy” even meant.  But the more I’ve learned…

The more I’ve realized…

I’ve been a Daddy almost my entire life!

Which brings up one of my most important messages, one I repeat over and over: D/Lg is a kink, not an age.  It’s something any two people can do, of any age, of any genders or sexualities.  

If I never properly wanted to be a Daddy I do want everyone to get that particular message: long as they involve adults who capably and willingly consent, kinks are kinks, not body types, ages, relationship status, orientations, or modes of expressing it.

Thanks so much for asking!

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