It’s not kink if unless you’re both satisfied! That is all.
I saw the ask about sleeping separately as a form of punishment. My ex would make me sleep alone if I didn’t please him every night. I can’t explain the crushing feeling as I’d watch him leave the room, angry and pissed. I felt absolutely worthless, pathetic, and undeserving of love and a loving partner.
Exactly. Which is why it isn’t punishment, it’s abuse.
Let’s take a little timeout and have a grownup conversation about BDSM and kink.
It’s not kink if unless you’re both satisfied! That is all.
If being made to sleep separately as punishment makes you feel happy, excited, contented, more enthusiastic, more motivated, and, especially, more horny then awesome! That’s wonderful! Some pet-play Subs can’t think of anything more romantic and reassuring than being made to sleep in actual fucking cages overnight! More power to you! And if your top understands this then they’re awesome, considerate lovers!
But!
If it doesn’t leave you satisfied and happy? Then there are two possible choices, both involving taking a timeout and have a grownup conversation about BDSM and kink with them.
- The “dom” is either clueless or abusive
- The “sub” is either clueless or codependent
Abuse and codependence aren’t kinks, they’re pathologies. Both are dangerous, both can hurt a lot of people. Kink in particular but relationships in general would be a lot healthier if we were more observant of the differences.
