Any tips for dating and searching for a Dd/lg relationship? Any red flags to be aware of?

The best humanly-possible advice I can give is to remember that a kinky relationship is still a relationship.  So even if you go on Tinder and say you’re looking for a Daddy (or a Dom, a foot worshiper, a fellow furry, or any other kind of partner for kink) you need to remember they’ll be a partner first. 

So, basically, if you wouldn’t go on a vanilla date with someone then don’t go on a kinky date with them.  Or, if you’re just looking for a kinky hookup then still ask yourself “would I have a vanilla hookup with them?”

Relationships in kink are a little trickier in the sense that you have to actually scratch each other’s kinky itches as well as being compatible personalities. That’s a problem because in addition to finding that one in a thousand partner out of a field of a million or so in your city, state, or region, you’ve got to find someone who’s also up for your kind of kink.  On the other hand, because of this, one of the nice things about kink, particularly in power-exchange kinks, is it’s not rude to ask for “past references” for prospective tops or bottoms.  Kinky relationships often end for reasons other than personal compatibility, so there’s less high-emotion “i hate my ex” from past partners and more “we just didn’t work out because x, y, or z.”  

Bottom line is you probably already know most of the red flags to be aware of.  Kinksters are people just like non-kinksters are.  So treat them like people first.

Could a Daddy exploit, abuse, neglect, or sponge off of you?  You bet!   You gotta watch out for that!  But they’re no more likely to do so than a vanilla counterpart.  Because people can be problematic whether they’re kinksters or not.  Goodness knows there are predators in kink, and yeah it’s disgraceful how often people in their communities will make excuses for them.  But in the #metoo era it’s clear that predatory behavior isn’t even a little bit exclusive to kink. Which brings me back to my opening sentence: if you wouldn’t go on a vanilla date with someone then don’t go on a kinky date with them either.

The one area I’d particularly look out for is bluster.  There’s nothing wrong with a partner who’s new to kink.  Even a Dom or Daddy.  The question is how truthful are they willing to be about their experience level?  Because you really can work with an absolute beginner if they’re willing to learn!  Even if you’re a beginner if you’re both willing to learn together.

Awesome question!  Best of luck!

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