useofwomen2:

instructor144:

submissive-seeking:

instructor144:

He has demonstrated that he lacks the all-important self-control and focus on his submissive that all Dominants must have. He also demonstrated he is selfish. I think we both know what has to happen here, but in case there’s any ambiguity, I’ll spell it out: he is dangerous. Run.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “TOO CLOSE” TO STOP A BEHAVIOR!!

THERE IS NEVER A REASON FOR EVEN ONE SECOND MORE AFTER A SAFEWORD.

Exactly. Reaction should be immediate and instinctive.

~safeword is uttered~

“Oh shit.” Immediate cessation of all activity.

“Talk to me, baby” as you get them out of any physical restraints etc they might be in.

Roll back the covers and get them under covers tout de suite.

Listen as they talk, while handing them a bottle of water and their favorite aftercare snack. And when I say listen, I mean fucking listen. And learn. Because if you took them to the point of having to safeword, you fucked up, champ. What your sub tells you is a learnable moment, so learn.

No such thing as too close. Ever.

You want to know what’s even harder than stopping when you’re “too close?”  Stopping a sneeze to avoid running down a pedestrian while you’re driving.  And yet for some reason pretty much anyone with a brain and a heartbeat can pull that off.

So, yeah, “I was too close” is a decision.

A safeword means stop.  It’s not a word you use inside of kink, it’s the fire exit.  It means “step outside.”  It means stop fucking around and stop fucking around.

More to the point, a safeword means “is this particular orgasm really so goddamned important that you’ll forgo all future sex with this person… and with anyone else I tell?”

You wouldn’t lend your car again to someone who kept driving when the red check-engine light went on, right.  Don’t get back in bed with someone who (with or without a safeword) kept going when you said stop.

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