In a great LTR with my Dom and he floated an idea for a rule…
So if Iâm understanding what youâre saying, heâs proposing a rule where you arenât allowed to play and cum anymore, that only he is allowed to get you off? First and most obvious question: how practical is that? Unless you are seeing each other very regularly, that degree of deprival is rarely healthy emotionally or physically.
Iâve only masturbated twice in the almost-3 years since we started orgasm control. We live together, neither of us travel for work regularly and we have pretty well-matched sex drives. So it works for us. But I donât know that I would sign up for âyou will never touch yourself againâ because I think the reason why ours works is that he can meet my needs without me masturbating. I have no reason to think our circumstances will change but you just never know what may happen. If he were hospitalized for weeks, or if one of us wound up having to travel for a long time without the other or something, then I would want that option of requesting permission to masturbate.
I think even if I lived with my partner and we had sex every day, I would still feel the need to masturbate sometimes. I dunno. Itâs a very different kind of release to me. Man. Even the idea of this is stressing me out.
I would recommend to anon that they start with a week or a month and then decide to continue or stop at the end of whatever period. And then after, say, 6-8 months, you can consider throwing around words like âpermanently.â
This wasnât my ask so this isnât advice. But!
Itâs all well and good for a Dom to float ideas. Itâs actually great! Doms should do that (as well as consider ideas that their Sub floats!) But!
Only say yes to things that make you happy. That turn you on. That work for you!
If denial makes you (paradoxically) horny or excited or at least more interested, or if, like @amysubmits, it works for you to agree to come only at the hands of your partner, then great.
If it doesnât work for you or if, like @cherishedproperty, it just makes you anxious? Then, yeah, decline politely but firmly.
