cherishedproperty:

instructor144:

Followers?

Squirting orgasms are not superior orgasms.

Let me just repeat that.

SQUIRTING ORGASMS ARE NOT SUPERIOR ORGASMS. They are just a thing that happens. They don’t feel better. They don’t mean anything different. Literally it’s an involuntary response that just happens. That’s it. It would be like if you had some weird nerve endings that made you sneeze sometimes when you cum. For most women, it’s just a thing that happens sometimes.

Anon, was is that clit sucker thing? My partner got one, and I soaked through towels on the bed because I squirted so much. Evil little fucker.

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!  NOOOOOOO!!!!

Jiminy fucking cricket!!!  I’m trying not to be a cranky old Daddy, I really am, but dudes have got to get over this “faking it” business!

And OMG please get over the goddamn fetishes, myths, stereotypes, and projection about “squirting!”  Especially about “squirting” always being “better” or, ugh, “more authentic!”

Look.  This is a much older, very experienced gentleman talking here, boys.  I’ve had partners who only have g-spot orgasms, partners who only have clitoral orgasms, parters who have both, and of course partners who can’t come at all.  And you know what?  How “good” a lover you are doesn’t seem to make any difference at all.  

So where did the idea that g-spot “squirting” orgasms are “better?”  Easy!  It was explained very nicely in the original “The G Spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality” by Ladas, Whipple, and Perry back in 1982.  

In more modern terms, the clitoris is bigger than people used to think.  As with penises, different parts of the clitoris can be more or less sensitive.  Usually it’s the outside bit under the clitoral hood at the top of the vulva.  Sometimes it’s not though.  Sometimes it’s the internal parts.  One of the big internal parts is the “g-spot,” an area on the underside of the pubic bone.  

Little aside here for context.  I had a fairly long relationship with a partner who’d only had one other partner.  When she would handle my cock she always concentrated on the underside waayyyyy down at the base.  This did approximately zero for me because I’m really not sensitive there at all.  But!  Evidently it was the keys to the kingdom for her first lover.  So she kept trying and trying to get the same results with me she got from him.  No dice since, again, the base of my cock has approximately zero “erotic” nerve endings.  It felt nice, sure, but wasn’t ever going to be orgasmic.

Instead, like maybe 80% of all men, I’m most sensitive on the underside about an inch below the crown.  That’s more common in men but there are others whose hot spots are on the head, the sides, even in the internal anchoring penile “bulb” that’s most accessible with penetration of the ass.  If you’re a man you may be thinking I’m right about this or that spot, or you could have an entirely different spot… more on this later.

Back to my main point: this is sort of how things work with clitorises.  Most women’s clits are most sensitive just above the tip, along one side or the other.  Others are more sensitive inside.

So how can a “g-spot” orgasm be better than a “clitoral” orgasm?  (Note: it’s all clitoris but let’s pretend the g-spot isn’t just another part of the clit.)  A “g-spot” orgasm can be better than a clitoral orgasm if that’s where her overall clit is most sensitive. And, especially, if the outer parts of her clit aren’t very sensitive.

But that’s… mostly pretty much it!

Going back to my example about my cock.  And my former partner’s former partner’s cock.  Are my top-of-the-cock orgasms more “authentic” than his “bottom-of-the-cock” orgasms?  Is one “better” than the other?  Well… yeah but only if your partner insists on stimulating a spot that isn’t your spot!

Same with most women.  

It’s worth pointing out that Ladas, Perry, and Whipple started researching the G-Spot to try and resolve a disconnect between Sigmund Freud, who said “mature” women should have orgasms from vaginal stimulation and therefore women who needed external clitoral stimulation were immature, neurotic, or damaged, on the on hand, and Masters & Johnson who said nope, it’s all (external) clitoral stimulation and the inside of the vagina is basically numb.

It’s also worth pointing out that in the 1970s when Whipple, etc., were doing their research, women who didn’t come from external clitoral stimulation were considered… immature, neurotic, or damaged.

It’s also worth considering, considering the OP’s issue with her partner, that in the 1970s women who came from vaginal stimulation had to be “faking it.”  

Ugh, this is already too long but I’m getting close to the end.

Anyway, one of the big things Whipple, etc., said they hoped would come out of their book is an understanding that there are different but not better ways to come.  They wanted to destigmatize both women who only have (external) clitoral orgasms and women who have g-spot orgasms.

They even had a whole chapter called, I think, “don’t let the pursuit of the best drive out the good” that implored people not to think g-spot orgasms were better just because they were more elusive or rare.

And based on my own extensive first, second, and third-hand experience that’s what I want everyone else to understand too.  You have only “clitoral” orgasms?  Awesome!  Only g-spot orgasms?  Great!  Both?  Wonderful!  

Heh. Oh yeah.  One more thing: not everyone who has a g-spot orgasm squirts.  And some women squirt from external clitoral stimulation.  Some only squirt during really big orgasms.  Others women squirt without really feeling much of anything at all.  Point being squirting is certainly related to orgasms but not directly linked to them.

Want a little tip?  Stop making her orgasms about you!  Most women can have orgasms all by themselves.  Most of the ones who squirt can make themselves squirt all by themselves too!  Making your partner come doesn’t make you a hero.  (Being an overall considerate lover might make you a hero, but remember she can have orgasms all by herself.)

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