unclefather:

I…

Ok…

So.  As an old hippie I’m actually pretty sanguine about other people’s bathing habits.  And while everyone has “morning breath” in the morning, it’s typically worse for us than it is for our partners.

But!!!!

There’s a mile of difference between “don’t wash your hair on my account, pumpkin” and “I won’t brush my teeth on your account!!!”

OMFG!!!

The other day someone mentioned they appreciate older men because we’re more likely to bother showering or at least washing below the belt before asking a date for a blowjob.  Because, they said, younger men are either too clueless or too entitled to bother.

There’s a weird “snowflake” characteristic in misogyny/incel culture where it’s felt women should love men “as they are,” no matter how outwardly unkempt, unhygienic, impolite, inconsiderate, or out of shape.  

These are usually the same kind of guys, incidentally, who’ll totally lose their lunches if a woman has an ounce of excess body fat, any evidencce of genital arousal, a single hint of stubble, or anything less than perfect nails or makeup.

They’re often eager to “face fuck” their partners “like the whore they are” but… don’t like to be “told to do stuff.”  Like brush their fucking teeth!?!?!?

Last little bit of a clue: they don’t say “fuck you, you’ll smell my breath and like it.” Instead they passive/aggressive out and say shit like “find someone you think is better than me!”  WTF, champ, self-esteem much?!?!?

And yeah, I’m making a HUGE assumption that the reluctant texter was a guy – there certainly are women who don’t attend to their personal hygiene as well.  But I’ll give you a nickel if the respondent wasn’t a guy.

Look.  Dudes!  Trust me on this!  It’s not the case that women only want “alpha” males.  It’s not the case that they don’t want “beta” males!   “Hypergamy” is substantial bullshit, and the tiny sliver of it that isn’t is badly misunderstood.  Even though it’s, like, incel bible verses.

You don’t have to be ripped, or rich, or have an awesome car, or a job to be attractive to surprising numbers of women.  But, dudes, you gotta brush your teeth!  Maybe change your shirt.  Definitely shower.  Absolutely wipe your butt!!!

Pro tip from an older, experienced gentleman: half a jug of Axe Body isn’t better than a two minute shower and a little soap.

If you believe that “hypergamy” bullshit then you’re just going to run yourself into the dirt till you make yourself actually, literally unattractive, undesirable, and possibly unlovable.  But that’s not on women, that’s on you!

Learn to accept what you can’t control, as the old parable goes.  But get a goddamn handle on what you can control.  Trust me.  This works better than some of you evidently could believe.

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