splendid-2-indeed:

Sex is easier than allll the books let on.  The trick, you see, is to let go of your conceits and misconceptions and trust your partner, yes, and yourself.  To listen to your partner, yes, and yourself!

To the untrained ear, saying “there is no should” sounds like “do whatever the fuck you want.”  Good luck with that, by the way, but chances are “whatever the fuck you want” only means “all the things I think grandma, a minister, or “the feminists 🙄” don’t think you should.  (Hint: outside our stereotypes chances are your grandmas, your minister if you have one, and “the feminists” have been doing all those things since before any of us were born!)

Instead “no should” means do what feels right, not “what you can get away with because nobody’s going to stop you.”

When you learn the difference between “what you really want” and “what you think you can get away with,” everything hard about sex gets out of the way.

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