Notice how carefully and almost gently he’s spanking her?  Also notice how he’s already warmed her up?  Surprised?  Please don’t be.  That’s the way you do it!

Folks who don’t understand kink imagine spanking is always aggressive, punitive, and hard as possible – you know, the way angry parents, teachers, and frat boys do it.

But really, while yes you’ll find capital-M Masochists who genuinely thrive on serious pain, for almost everyone else the key isn’t how hard you’re spanked but how well.

I mean, look.  It’s like pretty much everything else in sex, right?  Yes, you can just jam an object inside someone without warming them up, or start jacking a guy with no warmup, or stick your tongue down someone’s throat on the first kiss.  And yes, you can find people who like that too!

But most people don’t. And therefore, kinksters being people and all, most kinksters don’t care much for it either.

I’m always saying “don’t do it the way they do it in porn.”  Let me just add “don’t do it the way angry parents, teachers, and frat boys do it either.”

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