Every kink has its upsides and downsides. As with the tendency towards dad jokes and using ridiculous endearments, cheesiness is another tragic side effect of being a Daddy. ????
If you would like to have a discussion about this, message me off anon. If you are going to continuously target me, get off my blog. Every cgl relationship is different and unique in its own special way, and none of us want antis like you attempting to make us feel bad for the relationships we have.
Ooh, while every individual has her or his own reply I can âdeliberately and directlyâ answer the persistent asshatâs trolling question!
After being a stay at home parent for nearly 22 years I developed a particular supportive, respectful, mutual communication style that evolved fluidly and effortlessly as my real children grew from infancy to independent, autonomous, and awesome adulthood. Â
It was the basis of the two longest-lasting, most unshakable relationships Iâve ever had. Ones that gave me purpose, meaning, pride, and joy.
Enjoying that relationship dynamic donât want to be a parent to a sexual partner. Nor do I want to be partners with actual juveniles! Ahahah, yeah, no.
But having deeply enjoyed the forms of a particular communication context, and already having been drawn to semi-dominant BDSM with consenting partners, I get a lot of pleasure and fulfillment with adult partners who also enjoy participating in those particular forms.
In short, I enjoy repurposing a communications style I found enjoyable for other, erotic purposes. Â
Which is sort of the essential meaning of the word âkink,â isnât it?
Analogy: If one was to move away after spending 20 years in New York City one might be forgiven for bringing mementos, recipes, fashion preferences, and phrases with them even though they now lived in Texas. Nor would you be surprised if they were attractive to and attracted by those whoâd enjoyed visiting or living in New York.
It would be odd and probably dysfunctional if nostalgia for New York was the exclusive basis of such a relationship over the long term. But you wouldnât think it weird if people occasionally met up to do concentrated New Yorker things. And you wouldnât be surprised if otherwise compatible people with enthusiasm about New York developed a long-term relationship.
Itâs the same for D/Lg! One can be fond of a particular way of interacting without mistaking the dynamic for reality or wishing oneâs relationship was literally happening in New York City⊠or to directly answer @little-kitten-cutiepieâs troll, without wishing that oneâs partner was literally their parent or child.
I felt real, genuine, unbridled joy when I got a text from one of my partners about some fun he had just had with a new couple. I had a quiet night in, no sex even, and I was still so so happy for him. I wasnât even the slightest bit jealous! (Okay maybe a tiny bit because it sounded like so much fun and I had the chance to be in on it but had to pass – but really hardly any at all.) Also, we had a really great exchange about some dynamics earlier in the evening and this great feeling just solidified it even more for me.
Compersion’s a funny word for a good thing. I dunno if I’m poly but I’m almost never traditionally jealous when friends, lovers, partners, or exes have sex or even whole relationships with other people.
I think maybe it’s having been a dad before I was a Daddy? It would be weird keeping your own children from growing up and discovering romance, wouldn’t it?
So maybe that’s why as a Daddy I’ll feel wistful, sure, and concerned about wise or safe choices, but I’m still going to be less “how could you” and more “go get ‘em, tiger.”
