What I’m Saying

sadgirl-trashx:

onedom:

When I say “I want to be tied up”
what I’m really saying is
“I want to trust you enough to let go.”

When I say “I want to be slapped”
what I’m really saying is
“That sting makes me feel real.”

When I say “I want be spanked”
what I’m really saying is
“I want to feel accountable to you.”

When I say “I want be gagged”
what I’m really saying is
“Help me silence the thoughts in my brain.”

When I say “I want to be used”
what I’m really saying is
“I need to feel small and insignificant.”

When I say “I want to be defiled”
what I’m really saying is
“I feel dirty. Make it go away.”

When I say “I want be forced ”
what I’m really saying is
“Help me not feel guilty about my desires.”

“When I say “I want to be marked”
what I’m really saying is
“I need to feel you here even when you’re not.”

When I say “I’m yours”
what I’m really saying is
“I love the way you love me.”

When I say “I love you”
I mean just that.

Source compliKated – Fetlife

this is cute.

This is also awesome!

I get that it’s not always obvious that there’s such a huge gap between kink and abuse.  But that’s why it’s important to come up for air long enough, and go meta enough, to make the differences crystal clear.

For the record, if I didn’t understand how you felt, and if I didn’t reciprocate those feelings, I couldn’t lift a finger or say a word.  

Chances are surprisingly good that if we didn’t have all the social pressure, guilt trips, need for vigilance and self-protection, perpetual deluges of oppression, and the aftermath of both petty and deep real abuse, most of us would be perfectly happy being blandly vanilla.  Although “vanilla” activities might be considerably more, um, robust and less deferential and tentative.  But we do have all that bullshit, and so we wind up with kinks.  That’s why we call them kinks!  

But hells yes:

• I wouldn’t bind you if I didn’t know you trusted me
• I wouldn’t spank you if you didn’t want to be spanked.
• I wouldn’t slap or gag or force you unless I know that’s what you need to let go
• I wouldn’t “use” you if I didn’t think it fed your fires too.
• And if I said “I love you” I’d mean it from the bottom of my heart.

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