Posts Tagged ‘age play vs. age’
D/Lg tips: “Take me to dinner and order for me off the kid’s menu”
Take me to dinner and order for me off the kids menu
Omg!!!!
Nonsexual Little play then come home and treat you like a big girl!!! Oh could we?
Hello Mister, would you may be so kind to give me your perspective on how flirts with a significant age gap. Why do you think older man may find e.g. young strong sort haired women attractive?
Iâm always surprised when young women worry that older men might not find them attractive. I mean it makes structural sense, meaning Iâm always surprised that any younger woman would be interested in me. So. Balance!
But hereâs the thing: Before you can be 32 or 52 or⊠I dunno⊠102 you have to have been 22. And if it makes sense that one liked 22-year-old women when they were 22 then, based on experience and memory if nothing else it makes sense that theyâd be just as interested when theyâre older.
Meanwhile, it seems odd that women would be attracted to older men because⊠theyâve never been older. And⊠well⊠how does that even work? I mean, after my parents divorced my mom dated a succession of men who were considerably older than her, right up into her early 80s when she was as close to a 96-year-old man as Iâd ever seen her be close with anyone. (Maybe age play runs in my family?!?! Hmm, on my dadâs side my grandfather was 15 or 16 years younger than my grandmother. Maybe it really does run in my family!!! But I digressâŠ) My concern is that at a certain age you just sort of run out of older men. Or else do the 42-year-old âolder menâ you were interested in when you were 22 become younger men when youâre 62?
As for your actual question about flirting with an older man you may have to be more direct than you think. Otherwise, based on my discussion above, heâs very likely to think heâs imagining things. And no, âmore directâ doesnât mean âhey mister, you want a blowjob!!!â Because contrary to popular belief thatâs more likely to freak out the average older man (or younger one unless heâs very high or very stupid.)Â
Yes, that kind of âdirectnessâ might panic him even if heâs so infatuated with you his cock weeps salty white across his hands and belly at night while fantasizing about you saying exactly that. Fantasy â reality.
Instead, by direct you might try engaging him in direct conversation, letting him get to know you (and you him, because itâs still going to be a relationship, right?)Â And then perhaps ask him the same question you asked me:Â âdo you think an older man would be attracted to a strong, short-haired woman?â
The very good thing about that particular question, by the way, is that you have a graceful âoutâ if he says âgoodness no, Iâve always been into women who are older than me.â
Best of luck whatever you choose to do! Good question and good food for thought. Thank you for asking.
âAge is just a numberâ works both ways.
Like the last anon, Iâm also a young girl (turned 18 in August) and I love your page so much???? Iâve never been in a relationship like that but the way you describe how you are lowkey (highkey) makes me want to be yours???? Thanks for making us not feel weird or alone
Thank you so much! Youâre so sweet to say so! Iâm sure youâd find me charming and informative, thoughtful and supportive, as well as goofy, goopy, cuddly, funny, sensuous, sexually inquisitive and creative, as eager to learn from you as to instruct you, enthusiastic, dominant but not entitled, and always, always interested in your feeling satisfied no matter how you choose to define satisfaction.
AndâŠ
Youâd also find me garrulous, quirky, too much in my head and hands, sedentary, prone to overwork, reflective, otiose, and possibly doddering. You might quickly realize you could replace me with a vibrator and an encyclopedia.
To put that last part more kindly to myself, you might find you outgrow me.
And thatâs not necessarily a bad thing either! I happen to loathe and despise the opportunistic conceit that an older person is better at âbreaking inâ a younger, inexperienced partner. But I donât think thereâs something wrong with an adult whoâs growing into their sexuality seeking experience with a series of partners who bring different qualities to their relationships.
While age is âjust a number,â actuarial tables are a cold, hard truth. So while Iâm no longer someone a younger person could hope to âgrow old togetherâ with I might make someone a good Crash-Test Daddy.
That said!
Other than knowing better how to listen as well as talk, thereâs very little I do in bed now than I did when I was 18. Thereâs surprisingly little I didnât learn with and from my first two girlfriends while I was still in high-school!
Iâll add that the men who will be great Daddies sometime in the next 20-40 years are⊠also in their late teens and early twenties today! And chances are theyâre just as courteous, curious, sensuous, cuddly, and capable now as they will be then. Annnndddd⊠chances are equally good that the young adults who are assholes today are still very likely to be assholes 20-40 years from now too.
âAge is just a numberâ works both ways.
So while Iâm flattered beyond words, and while I really do appreciate and enjoy serious, seriously playful connections with adults, including inexperienced adults with birthdays in August, Iâd like to invite those who are interested in older, experienced men like me to also be on the lookout for younger, inexperienced men and help âbreakâ them in too.
But the cool thing to remember about power-exchange kink is you bring half the power or thereâs nothing to exchange. D/S and D/Lg is as much by and for Littles and Subs as itâs for Doms or Daddies. Of any age!
Thank you again, anon. Thanks for wishing you could be mine. Who knows if it could or would or even should be so, but it meant the world to me, you know.
Most folks donât understand that D/Lg is more about a state of mind than about actual age or what you wear.
Mmmm uce cream, we all cream, puddledumpling.
What’s the youngest age you would date? (Of legal age of course)
If youâre an adult youâre an adult.
When I was a young man, even a boy, I got along extremely well with those who were much older than I was. Often better than I did those my own age. I was a sponge for information and experience, about other places, about other times, about memories and events from long before I was born.
I loved being shown how to do things, though perhaps not the things you might have in mind. How to change a tire. How to draw water from a well. How to hammer nails. How to roll cigarettes. How to can peaches. I loved being told how to do things â how to hitch rides on old steam engines, what how to protect yourself from tanks during WW1, how to mine for copper ore. How to find work, or love, or happiness. How to grow old gracefully.
Some of the things I learned were wrong, and some of those Iâm goddamn still unlearning, decades after those who taught me grew old and died. But most of what I learned I treasure. Most of the things I did, the conversations we had, I treasure and miss.
Now? Now I realize some of the âold peopleâ I learned from were only 18 at the time. They seemed so old to me then. And others I learned from were 80, which doesnât seem so old anymore. And most were somewhere in between â neither young nor old, really.
And so I can say with far more confidence: if youâre an adult youâre an adult. I love talking to adults of any age, and learning from them, and doing things with them. So when it comes to dating? Iâd date adults too.
Awesome question. It was good to spend time thinking about the answer. So thank you for asking.
>DDLG. …Why are you into father/5 year old daughter incest roleplay?
 Youâd have to ask someone who was into that. Â
But if I was into that Iâd probably say it was because my adult partners and I were into it.
Into it the way adults can be into roleplaying other objectively silly but subjectively arousing themes like pirates, gangsters, movie stars, millionaires, grossly-stereotyped ethnicities, soldiers, nobility and âFrench maids,â doctors and ânaughtyâ nurses, cable guys or pool boys and bored housewives, bosses and secretaries, virgins and rakes, strangers-in-a-bar, porn stars, âhookers and johns,â prisoners and guards, cops and criminals, vampires or werewolves, imprisoned princesses, unicorns or other furry animals, characters from 50 Shades of Grey, characters from Mad Men, characters from My Little Pony (hey, Iâm not gonna judge), or clowns (still not judging), or husband and wife (when theyâre not) or having an affair (when theyâre monogamous together), and on and on and on.
Or you might ask vanilla people why theyâre into roleplaying repressed Victorian-era missionaries. (Worth mentioning that before the Victorians it was Puritan doctrine that husbands and wives would be unfailingly lusty for each other, so practitioners canât fall back on missionary sex being ânormalâ or âreligious.â)
Review each item in a list of ânaughtyâ Halloween costumes and ask yourself why that?!?!
The short answer to any of the above is that for many adults relationships are social as well as psychological or physical. And so adults find ways of bringing social tropes and metaphors into their interpersonal relationships. They also often seek out other adults who share not only compatible sets of body parts but compatible social metaphors. If you both happen to have strong social associations with Spongebob and Patrick, then you may enjoy bringing that dynamic into bed together. And no, as long as you and your partner were adults who were exercising affirmative, competent consent it would be silly to judge that either.
Speaking for myself Iâm not into roleplaying being sexual as a father, or being sexual with a minor offspring. D/Lg kink â incest kink. Instead itâs just fun and erotic to intentionally employ the social cliches and stereotypes of caregiving as an adult with an adult partner. Â
One gives a pacifier to an infant to⊠well⊠pacify them. One gives or receives a pacifier to an adult sexual partner to signify an ephemeral, consensual alteration of relative power. Thatâs⊠pretty different from incest.
Ok, the shortest possible answer is Daddy â dad!
Hope that helps answer your question.
Tip for folks who donât understand D/Lg Littles: Of course youâre a capable adult woman who can take care of yourself! Thatâs why itâs so hot when you have a partner whoâll whisper things like âhere, let me do it, Angel, youâre too small….â
hey! is it a coincidence that you can read ‘obey’ in your tumblr name? ????
You mean like âold enough  t  obey our father?â Ahahah! Yes, itâs a coincidence but itâs a fun one, isnât it? Â
But for the record, sort of like you have to be âthis tall to ride this ride,â you actualy do have to be old enough (at least 18) to obey this father! Â
Good eye, @suchnichtinworten! ????
Can older men usually tell when younger girls are into them??
It might sound a little dumb or tautological (which could be a fancier word for dumb) but older men can only tell the younger women who are into them that they can tell are into them. Â
So yes, itâs easy to tell when someoneâs obviously into you. But sometimes to my eternal regret Iâve learned others were terribly into me and they were so good at hiding it I had no idea!
But!
Thereâs another situation thatâs super important to keep in mind!
Just like there can be âfalse negativesâ where an older man canât tell that a younger woman is into them, itâs even more common for there to be âfalse positivesâ where a man is 100% certain a younger woman is into him and⊠heâs terribly, terribly wrong.
Another kind of awkward situation is when an older man can tell a younger woman is into him but he canât respond. Either because heâs not into her or because heâs not in a position to let himself be. Sometimes because theyâre in a relationship with someone else. Sometimes because theyâre in a position of authority that for moral, ethical, practical or (if theyâre not ethical, moral, or practical) pure cowardice and self-interest keeps them from acting on.
But oh, when I can tell someoneâs into me and Iâm into them and thereâs nothing to really stop us from becoming closer? Thatâs⊠very nice isnât it?
I guess the short answer is: sometimes we can tell, sometimes weâre completely clueless, and sometimes we only think someoneâs into us. So sadly itâs like so many other unspoken crush situations. ????
I don’t have much sympathy for young girls who get involved with older men. They want to post about how older men do everything better, and how they’re so above men their age. Then they’re surprised that a 40 year old who wants to be with a 20 year old is a creep…
Cool for you, mate. ????????
Hmm. Chances are pretty good that a 40-year-old whoâs a creep was also a creep when they were 20. And if theyâre a creep at 40 then theyâll be a creep even if they want to be with another 40-year-old.
If instead someone was pretty decent at age 20 theyâre still pretty decent at age 40. Thatâs just how these things work.
Few of us – men or women – are either saints nor monsters, at any age.
Iâm not going to advocate for or condemn 20-year-old women being with 40-year-olds, or 40-year-old men who want to be with 20-year-olds. But I AM going to advocate for laying off the stereotypes.
Especially when the bigger question might what can we do to counter the stereotypes that leave younger women feeling that â40-year-old creepsâ are a better choice.
Nothing wrong with having a kink for older partners. But even though Iâm older Iâm not comfortable with a perception that weâre otherwise âbetterâ than younger men. Or âworse.â Cause, again, a creep at 40 was probably also a creep at 20.
So how do we cultivate fewer creeps of any age?