Posts Tagged ‘age play vs. age’
REMINDER
Rape play and incest play is all well and good. Age play is fun and harmless but those things are fun because of consent. Because all parties involved understand what they are doing and continue to do that by choice.
IN REAL LIFE
Children, sleeping or passed out women/men, drugged or excessively drunk people, CANNOT CONSENT. These people cannot understand what is happening due to a number of things. Coercion is not consent. Bribery is not consent. A five year old cannot consent. Please do not hurt anyone in the name of an orgasm, even if you think they’ll learn to like it.
Sexual contact (of any kind) for children is often damaging.
Please express your sexual desires with consenting adults.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk
Think about why Littles like @littlebrattybabes or @victorianmaidn might bring this up. If you do that you might lose that reflex urge to say “this is so obvious” or “not all men…” or “well I’d never…”
Littles might get asks and PMs that make these sort of TED Talks seem like a pretty goddamn good idea to listen to and repost.
Do daddy’s lose sex drive as they get older or is that just a rumor?
The short answer is yes, sometime after age 30 men’s levels of testosterone begin to decline, and meanwhile their levels of something called sex-hormone-binding globulin starts to increase. As a result by age 70 a man’s available testosterone levels are about 70% of their peak.
That sounds terrible but it’s worth noting that men’s testosterone production varies by about 30% roughly every 24 hours! (And everyone says women are “hormonal!” Ahahah! Fuck them!)
Anyway, 70% is still plenty for normal sexual response, interest, enthusiasm, etc. On average a man in his 70s will be more arousable at 10:00 at night than a man in his 30s will be at 4:00 in the afternoon.
🤷♂️
So what’s going on? Where does that “lose sex drive as we get older” business come from?
Well. Overall health plays a big part of it! It’s pretty common for men to stop exercising and eating well as we age, for instance, leading to circulatory problems – heart and arterial disease are bigger factors with erection problems than testosterone levels, for instance. Alcohol, tobacco and other drugs take a serious toll on human bodies the longer we use them.
And something that’s usually not taken into account with these things is our partners, who generally are experiencing the age, health, and interest-and-or-disinterest levels we are.
That last bit is pretty important. There’s a similarly persistent, scurrilous rumor that lesbian couples experience something called “lesbian bed death,” where after just a year or two of cohabitation or marriage they may stop having sex altogether. Tip: it’s not just lesbians and it’s not just women and it’s not just older men.
I’ve mentioned the relationship expert Esther Perel several times in this blog. In her very cool book Mating in Captivity she talks about an issue of what she labels “intimacy vs mystery” that she asserts is responsible for a lot of loss of interest in any relationship. This is high-level handwaving but in a nutshell she says that the more completely you know someone the more difficult it is to become aroused with them. Not necessarily because you’re bored by the way, but because the closer you are the more easy it is to “do that later.” Where “that” includes but isn’t at all limited to sex. The point being that familiarity grows over time, and if too much familiarity can affect our sex drives then all else being equal the age of the relationship may be as big a factor as the age of the partners.
So! About your question about Daddies in particular.
One summer vacation when I was 16 or 17 I laid in bed and masturbated 22 times in 22 hours. When I was 19 a young woman and I had sex for almost 20 hours straight! (Not all intercourse, but never really stopping being sexual.) When I was 26 a very enthusiastic partner wrung five orgasms out of me… and the last one felt like someone was pulling a string from somewhere deep inside of me – very pleasurable but also raw and almost agonizing. Until my late 50s I masturbated twice a day, every day, whether I’d also had sex or not. Now I masturbate once a day unless…
Unless I’m with a partner for sex, in which case it seems I can still play for hours.
So yes. If you count masturbation then my “sex drive” has dropped by about 50% since my 20s. But if you count having sex it’s… well… I’m probably only going to come once instead of five or 22(!!!) and I may stop for rest, water breaks, to go out for meals and sight-seeing, and naps… but experience suggests you’ll need rest, water breaks, and you’ll be napping with me. So…
Age has an impact, for sure, but it seems like a healthy, engaged Daddy with a healthy, engaging partner isn’t likely to slow down too much. And if he does it might not be entirely related to his birthday count.
Hope that helps answer the question a little bit. It’s a good question though. Thank you for asking it!
10,000 pop songs with the word “baby” in it and nobody ever imagines they mean anything but full-grown adults.
✦ milk and cookies and little girl tongues
✦
10,000 pop songs with the word “baby” in it and nobody ever imagines they mean anything but full-grown adults. This is as it should be. Because adults who want to be called “baby” are hot in a way that actual, you know, babies decidedly are not.
Reminder that “Little” is a kink, not a gender…
Reminder that “Little” is a kink, not a gender. While I’m at it I might as well add that not all “Daddies” or other Caregivers are men. And finally, don’t assume Cg/L always happens the same way.
Because when we’re grownups playing “what did you bring me, Daddy” it means something very different, doesn’t it, kneedimples?
Honestly, one of the biggest problems in the kink community on tumblr is the minors.
You guys are trying to get away from the kink and remove kink form kitten play and ddlg, but without BDSM, it’s just being childish and being a neko.I’m really tired of you guys trying to do that.
Like I understand liking the aesthetic of it being cute, but don’t try to classify yourself as a part of the community for these things and be like “UMM THIS ISN’T A KINK FOR ME THOUGH” because you’re coming into a kink space and and trying to make it not a kink. It doesn’t work.And it allows minors to think it’s not a kink
It fucking is.someone unfollowed me for this.
Good taking out the fucking trash.
Lemme make those points again.
1. DDLG/CGL is kink
2. Petplay is kink
3. MINORS DO NOT BELONG IN KINK
Just gonna put it out there that
- if you’re a racist you’re not doing “race play” you’re just being a racist
- If you’re an abuser or codependent what you’re doing isn’t “BDSM” it’s abuse
- If you’re a rapist you’re not doing “rape play” you’re just a rapist
- If you’re a pirate you’re not doing “pirate play” you’re a fucking pirate!
Therefore if you’re under 18 you’re not a Little you’re a minor child! Worse, if your partner is a child you’re not a “Caregiver” you’re a pedophile.
The point being, if you get off on criminal transgressions then what you’re doing is criminal, not “kink.” Get therapy. Get help. Get caught and arrested. But don’t hide your bullshit behind what legitimate, consenting, legally-competent adults do.
An older, experienced gentleman will remember how lovely curls feel beneath his fingertips, back when nobody in Western Civilization bothered to shave at all.
But if you shave then allow me, gumdrop. Because an older, experienced gentleman might have been shaving his own sensitive lips since before you were born, mightn’t he?
Do you think it’s more common and accepted in the D/s community to have a large age gap between partners? Especially with dd/lg? My dom and I are both of age of course, but he has a little under 30 years on me.
That’s a hard question. Even in the D/S community there can be a stigma with age gaps. It’s really a pretty subjective thing. I have never had a problem with it. I’ve known doms and subs that were the same age, Dom much older and sub much younger, sub older and Dom younger, etc. In the Daddy Dom side I still see it happen, where a person will not understand that just because an older Daddy is with a much younger Sub it doesnt make it a bad or creepy thing. I think it’s more accepted than it was but I do see it. I caught a lot of flack from friends in the community once when I had a sub that was 22 and I was 40ish. I got called a lot of unwelcomed names and it really had nothing to do with her age. The sub I had before her was in her 50s. I click with people and when I do the age isn’t an issue.
I can only speak to my experience but I bet I have followers that fall on both sides of this fence. Some that thing age Gap is no big deal and some that see a problem with it, and even some that only see a problem if the sub or dom are below the age of about 25 and the partner is older than 40 or so.
It’s a good discussion topic to me.
I would say it’s not uncommon but an awful lot of the D/S and other power-exchange couples I’ve known or seen over the years have been within a few years of each other age-wise.
For whatever reason, with hetero couples the man is almost always either the same age or a little bit older than the woman. Most D/S relationships are hetero so the male partner in most D/S relationships is likely to be the same age or a little bit older too.
Where things break down: the presumption is that men are always Doms and women are always Subs. That’s certainly the stereotype, and stereotypes have way of making us see things that reinforce them and overlook or excuse away things that contradict them.
And just so you know, decades ago statisticians noticed that back when marriage was the default, the best marriages by most measurements we’d tend to care about today were the ones where the woman was 5-9 years older than her husband. I’m not saying those were always D/S relationship where the woman was the Dom. In fact I’m guessing that particular age difference made for the most egalitarian relationship in a heavily sexist culture. How or whether kink was involve isn’t as important because…
When it comes to kink age really isn’t as critical as a lot of hetero men and women seem to believe.
That was pretty hostile!
Well that was pretty hostile! Anyone else in the D/Lg / Cg/L community been getting harassing messages from this @barn-burner character?
I’m sure it would be embarrassing to answer questions from the Justice Department but all things considered, including maybe 15-20% of my posts here, it’s unlikely they’d do more than that.
Tbh if they really had my contact info they could have called the local police they get pretty aggressive about child abuse and rightly so.
But really, D/Lg is a kink that consenting adults get into. You kind of have to be adults or it’s not a kink it’s, you know, criminal.
But just like people who play with handcuffs don’t really want to do kidnapping for real, and just like people who dress up in leather pants and French Maid outfits don’t really want to be pirates, D/Lg kinksters don’t want to be underaged and sure as hell don’t want to be related. Because eww.
But this sort of thing goes both ways. Pretty sure it’s a federal crime to threaten or stalk people online. And it certainly violates even Tumblr @staff policy as terms of service. So I’m gonna report then.
If they’ve harassed you you should report them too. Well unless you really do engage in child abuse or incest, in which case I’d report you myself.
I was pretty oblivious about older women when I was a young man…
I was pretty oblivious about older women when I was a young man. It wasn’t so much about being married as “established” with good jobs, houses or apartments, etc., which I didn’t yet have going for me.
Knowing what I know now I have a feeling I was so intimidated I definitely missed a number of very overt advances.
The funny thing is I wasn’t intimidated by them so much as I was so firmly anchored in what I felt were my own inadequacies. Because I didn’t have a good job, or a house or apartment, or a car or clothes it simply didn’t occur to me that someone who had those things could be interested in me.
Naomi Wolf’s 1990 book The Beauty Myth opened a lot of eyes to the way women tend to “censor” themselves when they feel they’re not matching (generally unattainable, definitely internalized) social ideals of beauty. For instance, women are sometimes surprised, in denial, or even annoyed that men find they’re attractive even though they haven’t “lost that last five pounds,” for instance.
It’s less well-understood that men have corresponding misconceptions about “worthiness” where they (we!) end up surprised or in denial when women find us desirable even though we don’t meet standards of achievement that we’ve internalized.
That’s a long preamble to my response to the meme, above. I’m pretty sure if an older woman or two had fished me out of my obliviousness and self “censorship” of unworthiness I’d have become a more confident, well-balanced lover and partner years and years before I finally did.
I don’t know if most younger men would prefer to hook up with a more mature woman, but based on my own third-hand, second-hand, and first-hand experience I think it would be a very good thing if more of them did. And if more mature women took younger men under their wings.
It would also be really fucking nice if we stopped using mildly derogatory terms for mature women like “cougar” and “milf” for those mature women who’ll date younger men. That shit’s not helping anybody!
Age really is just a number. Society’s got to get over that in a big way. Not just for older men and younger women but for younger men and older women (and older men and younger men and older women and younger women too.)