Posts Tagged ‘d/lg boundaries’
Feel sorry for the folks who can’t see that Littles have their own autonomous kink that’s independent of any partner. Having agency, they can and do act to initiate D/Lg interaction rather than simply responding to their partner’s initiative.
REMINDER
Rape play and incest play is all well and good. Age play is fun and harmless but those things are fun because of consent. Because all parties involved understand what they are doing and continue to do that by choice.
IN REAL LIFE
Children, sleeping or passed out women/men, drugged or excessively drunk people, CANNOT CONSENT. These people cannot understand what is happening due to a number of things. Coercion is not consent. Bribery is not consent. A five year old cannot consent. Please do not hurt anyone in the name of an orgasm, even if you think they’ll learn to like it.
Sexual contact (of any kind) for children is often damaging.
Please express your sexual desires with consenting adults.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk
Think about why Littles like @littlebrattybabes or @victorianmaidn might bring this up. If you do that you might lose that reflex urge to say “this is so obvious” or “not all men…” or “well I’d never…”
Littles might get asks and PMs that make these sort of TED Talks seem like a pretty goddamn good idea to listen to and repost.
Please reblog this every time you see it
The biggest gaslight of all is “you got hard/wet… you goddamn came on my cock / in my mouth / on or in my hands… that means you wanted it.”
Sometimes even the rapist believes it!
“The way some might not want to be tickled and they seriously don’t enjoy t but their body still mechanically laughs.” Best. Analogy. Ever!
Ever been raped?
not something I wanna remember
Not to break character or anything but what the hell kind of question is that anyway?!?!?
Being a kinkster doesn’t immunize you from the short and long-term repercussions of violent criminal assault. Not even for kinksters who are into consensual non-consent.
If you’re not an experienced counselor with specific, extensive, supervised training who’s been specifically been given permission by the person who wants that help that’s just a fucked up question to ask.
Are you with your actual biological father?
apparently i’ll need to put this in my FAQ …
D/Lg ≠ incest
No one says “oh, is that your biological child” when they hear you call them “baby.” So why the fuck think calling someone “Daddy” makes them your biological father? Eww!
Depravity is fun. Consent is vital!
Without the possibility of a solid no being respected there’s no possibility for an authentic, enthusiastic yes.
Consent fucking matters! No means no. Not right now means not right now. No more means no more. And stop means stop.
That’s how you get to a solid foundation for yes means hell yes!
Any questions?
About “asking for it”
Asking for it.
I’m going to beat you. A lot. For fun, because I can, because it turns Me on and because it makes that property of Mine between your legs drip.
But when I do you’re going to request it. you’re going to stand in front of Me and look Me right in the eye and seek permission to be beaten. you’re going to specify where you want to be beaten, how much, and the implement you would like Me to use.
Obviously those are My choices but I’ll tell you what they are and you’ll say it back as a request.
The point is, if anyone asks I want to be able to say, hand on heart, that you were asking for it.
Really. Honestly. The only time you can legitimately say “she was asking for it” is when she literally asks for it! This isn’t about “covering your ass.” It’s about being really clear about what you both desire… what excites you both!
Delivery service: it’s not true that a soft Daddy never punishes, angel. One of the biggest rules I call myself a Daddy and not a Dom or Daddy Dom is that I’m really not interested in making rules and I’m not motivated or aroused by obedience. But I’m quite cheerful about delivering consequences when you tell me you’ve broken your rules.
I call myself a Daddy because more than anything else I want you to succeed. For you to achieve your goals. Choose carefully.
For the anon with her dom being raped.. yes, anyone can be raped. I feel as though your first thought shouldn’t be whether or not he got off to it. It should be trying to figure out if he is okay. Support him and help him through this. He was crying, which you said never happens. Clearly he needs someone there for him at this time, care for your daddy. Be with him every step of the way. Talk to him, hug him.
^^^
I think that most of the confusion that the anon had was as to if it was or wasn’t rape. Even the victim was confused and thought it was cheating that he had done. The main point of contention for both of them seems to be that he “got off” during the assault. It’s a common myth in our society that men “can’t be raped” or “if his dick is hard it isn’t rape.”
The measure of if something is rape or sexual assault is quite easy. Was conscious consent given? If the answer is no, if it was given under duress, or if it was given but then revoked, then it is rape or sexual assault. Period. Full stop.
I definitely encourage the original anon’s Daddy to talk to a rape counsellor or therapist.
Oh my fucking god!!! It’s the goddamn 21st Century! Nobody should be acting like a goddamn Edwardian constable about this!
Look. The #1 gaslighting technique for serial predators against men is “you’re hard so you want this.” It’s devastating and effective. #2 is “you came so you must have enjoyed it.”
Just. Get. Over. That!
It tears women up that they get mechanically aroused when they’re assaulted, and that they sometimes have reflex “orgasms” too. That’s better known but also better understand by untrained support people.
Real, properly trained sexual assault counselor do understand the same phenomenon in men who are recovering from rape. And they’re trained to render proper support, guidance, and care as well.
And oh hell yes, ANYONE can be raped. Even big, strong men. And the perpetrators don’t even have to be bigger and stronger.
Gee, it’s the same way as for women and children like that too, isn’t it? Because it’s not always like they show it on TeeVee or (dear god) in porn. In fact, it’s rarely like that. And hint, that doesn’t make it better, that makes it worse for the targets.
Rape, real, non-consensual, criminal sexual assault, whether physically or “merely” emotionally violent, is serious as arterial bleeding and as damaging as sepsis.
The anon’s lover, companion, and friend needs support, not second-guessing. He’ll be doing plenty of that, possibility for the rest of his life. Please help him walk or run for real care. Same as you’d offer anyone else.
Please do that.
Please.
hi i just read ur post abt non-monogamous/OPP! I recently met a play partner who asked me to be apart of his poly household which was OPP. I currently have a bf and when he told me the details it entailed breaking up with my bf and never seeing my other partner as well. I totally felt devastated at the thought of that and told him thats a bit selfish for him as he can play w other women but the women in household cannot play w other men. im glad i came across the post it has eased my mind!
I hope you realize what a bullshit situation that is. Huge red flag to cut off your contact to other partners. This person just sounds straight up abusive tbh. I’m really thankful you know better than to commit to something unfair like that.
I’m just thinking that play partner must have either a hell of a one-penis or a hell of a house or else the other roomates have to be hella awesome to be troubled about rejecting that condition. I’m sure I’m getting caught up with the word “play partner” but that seems like a pretty lightweight relationship category to give up all one’s other pre-existing poly relationships for.
Going to be a little opinionated and judgmental here but One Penis Policies are a show of weakness for the penis owner in question.
I know I’m not a Dom, and certainly not a Master, so I can’t really speak to the possibly-legitimate justifications of the kink. I also clearly don’t have the kind of Submissive insights that would help me understand why such a one-way relationship might be appealing.
I’ll just say that one of the nice things about being a Daddy is that the possibility of Littles who have their own partners is kind of baked into the schemas that D/Lg borrows from real life.
- If everyone invoived is poly, well, then a Daddy can have more than one Little
- If everyone involved is poly then a Daddy can be wistful about their Littles’ partners, and appropriately protective, but everybody gets to grow up.
I’m not saying it’s got to be that way – D/Lg is only an analogy to parent/offspring dynamics and, like virtually all other kinks most D/Lg relationships are contentedly monogamous.
Just saying that being a Daddy, as well as a fair, just, and… observant human being, doesn’t endear me to OPP (cough*conventional-polygamous*cough) relationships.