By Thomas Oldenough | August 21, 2019 | Comments Off on I’m a gay male who just came across your blog, and oh boy have I came. Reading what you write, I get hot and flustered because the idea of being someone’s boy (even girl) is an absolute turn on. Lately, I’ve begun to capture my own femininity and understand its roots, in spite of working through the burdensome guilt and shame. Have others in their footsteps like me come/written to you before as well? Thanks.
Thank you for your kind words! I’ve never had a gay man send a serious ask but I’m glad you checked in. I haven’t mentioned it for maybe too long, but while I always use the shorthand D/Lg because I’m a hetero Daddy, there’s a whole universe of possibilities under the general heading of Cg/L (Caregiver/Little.) And that’s really important because being an adult Little is a kink, not an age or gender or sex or orientation.
Tumblr’s made it so much harder to search for kinks, but before the big stink last December it was pretty easy to find D/Lb (regular Daddies) and DD/Lb (Daddy Dom) blogs and posts. And M/Lg, M/Lb, and all the poly, trans, non-binary, and even asexual/non-sexual Cg/L.
I’m sorry I didn’t keep track back when track could be kept. I’d be happy to send you links. But since I was a bit of an entitled pooter I’m going to have to ask my followers if they know of any great blogs or other gay and pan Daddy or Lb bloggers. And while I usually don’t encourage it, in this case It’s ok for followers who have D/Lg and other Cg/L blogs to self-promote too. (Positive and supportive resources only though, please. It’s ok if you just reblog industrial porn but it’s not very helpful when someone’s trying to explore and discover newfound kinks.)
Thank you so much for asking. I was so, so happy when I discovered my own Daddy kink. Going to wish you lots and lots of luck exploring your Little kink too.
Comments Off on I’m a gay male who just came across your blog, and oh boy have I came. Reading what you write, I get hot and flustered because the idea of being someone’s boy (even girl) is an absolute turn on. Lately, I’ve begun to capture my own femininity and understand its roots, in spite of working through the burdensome guilt and shame. Have others in their footsteps like me come/written to you before as well? Thanks.
Honestly doesn’t get any clearer than that, does it?
I use the acronym D/Lg for my kink because it’s my particular kink. But really D/Lg is a subset of Cg/L, which is short for the general Caregiver/Little kink.
Not all Cg/L relationships are also D/S. Many to most probably aren’t. In fact quite a few Cg/L folks are completely non-sexual.
DD/Lg folks commonly represent themselves as a subset of D/S, and that’s entirely reasonable too.
It’s important to remember that Cg/L and D/S are both separate kinks though. You can have one or the other or both. Or, for most people, neither.
It ought to go without saying that Cg/L and D/S are kinks and not genders, or ages, or orientations, or body types, or even degrees of “regression.”
So bottom line: Not all Cg/L Mommies are Doms. And not all Doms are men. And…
A big myth about D/Lg is that “all Littles regress.” And sure, some do and there’s nothing wrong with that. But what a lot of people don’t get is that not all Littles think of themselves as… well… little! Or “middle.” There’s a whole range of “Little” ages beyond that.
You can be a grown woman – a lawyer, a designer, a teacher, a PhD candidate – and still love the idea of having a Daddy, can’t you? And you can always come home to Daddy, twinkletoes. I’ll always welcome you with open arms.
Thank you for articulating this @oldenoughtobeyourfather I think of myself on the outskirts of the little spectrum. I don’t age regress, I’m not the type of little I often see on Tumblr. I can get playful at times and I have some strong little qualities…. but it’s much less about that and much more about the dynamic itself. A caregiver. Someone who nurtures and looks out for me. Someone to be vulnerable with.
sThe college I went to had a reputation for being a “hippie school.” Everybody “knew” it. Any time reporters showed up they’d track down “hippie” looking students to interview.
75% of the students were state, municipal, and regulated-industry employees doing continuing education. But calling it a “hippie” school was more flashy, so they’d walk through (literal!) crowds of adults to get to the one corner of campus to setup their cameras where the handful of stoners with bandana-collared golden retrievers played hackysack.
Funny thing was, because of the intense stereotypes about the school, an overwhelming majority of students felt they were “on the outskirts of the spectrum!” They were typical, but not stereotypical, so they didn’t think they “counted.”
Same’s true for almost all kinks, all orientations, etc. The ones you notice are almost by-definition the outliers, not the average.
@delightfulsubgirl seems like a pretty typical Little. Just not stereotypical. If there’s a D/Lg spectrum then chances are she’s closer to the middle than the edge. Just like most Littles.
I’m a Daddy, and I’m a top, but I always get a chuckle when people assume the Daddy is always the top.
While we’re at it, never assume that “femdom” is the only way for women to be Doms, and please get over the viciously gendered assumption that the only way for men to be Subs is to be “sissies” or “forced fem.”
By Thomas Oldenough | February 3, 2017 | Comments Off on Really hard figuring out how to thread this needle.
The things I want to say. The things I want to do. The things I want. The things I believe in passionately. The passions I feel. The people I want to be with. The things I want to do for, to, and with people. With partners!
Really hard figuring out how to thread this needle. But what else am I going to do with my life?
Following up on my earlier post about who I’m following and why.
The more inclusive term I was looking for is Caregiver/Little, cg/l, sometimes cgl, and… yeah, lot of variations on that. Caregiver’s a great term. I’m unlikely to use it for myself, because for me “caregiver” is a little to close to “dad,” and as I mentioned here I’m trying to move away from that. But it’s always in the back of my mind – there’s a hell of a lot more to being a Daddy than being a “Dom.”
