Male-presenting nipples being ok, because in heteronormative land nobodyâs turned on by Daddies or bears! In fact, in heteronormative land, nobodyâs ever turned on by men at all, long as theyâre not showing Teh Peen!
Well. Maybe Teh Gays of course. But⊠do they even like nipples, I thought they only liked butts. And oh dear god it would never even occur to the squeeny little incels who run Tumblr that a woman would ever be turned on by a man who isnât rich, or have one of them BBC thingies, or is all buff and 24 and wearing a Rolex. ????
So yup, nothing arousing about a little male-presenting nipple play. That would be silly!
Itâs not just the Tumblr/porn-o-verse whoâs noticing. Or cool with it.
ââŠif you donât want this policy change to be âconfusedâ with banning child pornography, you might try not instituting it in response to getting criticized for allowing child pornography.â
Theyâve got a point, no?
But back to Tumblr: unless they reverse this change (unlikely), Iâll be ending my presence there. Whether or not you have a Tumblr account and do the same, hereâs my charge to youâdo not let anyone get away with framing these types of changes as âpositiveâ or âfriendlierâ or even âsafer.â At best, these changes make spaces more accessible to minors. At worst, they further stigmatize marginalized people and cut them off from community and financial support.
If thatâs what weâre doing, letâs at least be honest about it.
Sounds about right. Miri, the blogger at Brute Reason, isnât a âsex bloggerâ or anything like it. They probably wouldnât even post their mastectomy scars! Instead theyâve been using the platform as well as their own primary blog because Tumblrâs been a tolerant platform in a way that crap sites like Facebook simply arenât.
I get that Verizon, since itâs a telecom and not a content company, would have exactly zero interest in anything that smacks of âneutrality.â And itâs their company and, now, their website, so they can do whatever the fuck they want with it. But itâs not going to be a better place.
Wow, just got a DM offering meth, heroin, and a âsissyâ to play with?
âHey mate am a legit Meth plug,heroin, pills and medical marijuana vendor at affordable prices and pretty Sissy’s to play with ,if interested you call or text me on hangout or can still WhatsApp me on +1 (865)-XXX-XXXX (Dr James tweak)â
Never mind the offensive terminology (âsissyâ for trans/intersex) but goddamn heroin dealers? What the actual fuck?
Turns out thereâs no reporting category on Tumblr for fucking drug dealers! I wouldnât have thought one was needed.
Hello, my husband agreed into this lifestyle but i have to remind him to keep it up. We have an app w tasks which he does keep track of most days but he misses his own tasks such as maintenance. I feel so unsatisfied especially when Iâm waiting for it to happen. He wonât reply to my texts while at work even though I can see he read them. I know a lot is on his plate but Iâm never a priority. Iâve had meta talks w apologyâs but it always ends up same Any advice or posts pls!!!!
It sounds like he âagreedâ to it grudgingly at best, and heâs not really putting his back into it. Doms are born, not made, and it may simply be that he doesnât have that in him. Have a meta talk on the topic âDo we start taking this seriously, or shut it down and go back to vanilla?â If he chooses the latter course, youâll have to decide what to do with that.
if someone can turn it on and off like that, it might speak to how important D/s is in their life. Not always, mind you, but itâs a possibility worth considering talking about, especially to find out if one partner is âbornâ/wired this way, and the other isnât.
feeling unfulfilled is not something that should be ignored. the longer you let it go on without discussion, the unhappier youâll feel. I know the possibility of finding out that youâre incompatible with someone in such a fundamental way is scary, but take the leap. the longer term alternative is going to be so much worse, and leave deeper marks.
So the anon pushed her husband into being her Dom and now sheâs complaining about his service. How Submissive!
I agree there needs to be a meta talk but based on the ask and maybe some of the advise that conversation might need to go something like this:
âI lied to you and maybe to myself when I told you Iâm Submissive. Iâm really a Dominant masochist. It just happens to manifest as bratty Submission. So hereâs the deal: I expect you to show up on time and perform the tasks youâve been given to meet my needs. Thatâs what this relationship is all about.
âYes, Iâm requiring you to perform acts that resemble conventional D/S but youâve been confusing my masochism with Submission. But hereâs the bottom line, you do what youâre told or youâre out on your ass.â
Does that sound about right?
Funny, but as a shitty Dom I never knew how to deal with topping from the bottom. I always just thought I was doing it wrong. As D/Lg Daddy Iâm infinitely more confident and have ways to deal with bratty Littles.
Iâm going to go ahead and come off anon and address this with as many characters as I need. First, thank you all for the kind advice, it means so much! I am aware that autism speaks is not a good resource for autism but appreciate all who made recommendations trying to help. @oldenoughtobeyourfather although I appreciate your âbacking offâ and your advice and personal experience w autism (that was very thoughtful and kind) I disagree with you on a lot of levels. The family crisis as you call it should not have had to be mentioned at all in order for you to not throw around your judgement on my ask. I feel as though your past experiences and perhaps your own insecurities were projected on to me inappropriately. I understand that my initial ask did not have enough information to know for sure I wasnât being bratty, dominant and topping from the bottom, but it certainly did not contain enough information to assume that I was. I encourage you to please withhold your judgmental labels in your responses and perhaps ask questions first. Maybe responding to asks with a broader more possibilities approach, if thatâs too much then perhaps stick with the golden rule. My husband and I have come a long way and I can assure you im most definitely submissive with more experience than my husband. I fell in love with him as a person not as a Dom but he has shown desire and potential. We have fallen off track and I wanted advice on how to approach the situation to ironically NOT top from the bottom. He made a commitment to use the app, Iâm not manipulating him to get what i want or using him to make me complete. I feel like we should want to complete each other and that includes Ds. However, if im keeping up my end then he should too. Iâm sure any submissive could understand waiting for an agreed maintenance that never comes. I agree with you on he does not understand submission and he feels that he is pushing, not realizing that him tightening the leash is in fact what provides relief. Again thank you to everyone for the support, what started as a morning of sobbing turned into a warm heart thanks to all of you. Good day to you sir @oldenoughtobeyourfather i sincerely hope you learned something today.
@mystique-87. Iâm sorry. You were hurt as a result of my snap judgment, assumptions, and off-the-cuff and ill-considered remarks. Bringing my agenda to your situation added distress that you neither wanted or needed. I didnât have all the facts and did what I often criticize others for doing. If thereâs anything I can do to help you and your partner get through the multitude of shocks you and your family have run into, including the added shock my hasty reaction piled on, please get in touch through DM. I promise Iâll think twice, and more than twice, before condemning or criticizing or complaining about yours or anyone elseâs asks. I apologize.
It sounds like he âagreedâ to it grudgingly at best, and heâs not really putting his back into it. Doms are born, not made, and it may simply be that he doesnât have that in him. Have a meta talk on the topic âDo we start taking this seriously, or shut it down and go back to vanilla?â If he chooses the latter course, youâll have to decide what to do with that.
if someone can turn it on and off like that, it might speak to how important D/s is in their life. Not always, mind you, but itâs a possibility worth considering talking about, especially to find out if one partner is âbornâ/wired this way, and the other isnât.
feeling unfulfilled is not something that should be ignored. the longer you let it go on without discussion, the unhappier youâll feel. I know the possibility of finding out that youâre incompatible with someone in such a fundamental way is scary, but take the leap. the longer term alternative is going to be so much worse, and leave deeper marks.
So the anon pushed her husband into being her Dom and now sheâs complaining about his service. How Submissive!
I agree there needs to be a meta talk but based on the ask and maybe some of the advise that conversation might need to go something like this:
âI lied to you and maybe to myself when I told you Iâm Submissive. Iâm really a Dominant masochist. It just happens to manifest as bratty Submission. So hereâs the deal: I expect you to show up on time and perform the tasks youâve been given to meet my needs. Thatâs what this relationship is all about.
âYes, Iâm requiring you to perform acts that resemble conventional D/S but youâve been confusing my masochism with Submission. But hereâs the bottom line, you do what youâre told or youâre out on your ass.â
Does that sound about right?
Funny, but as a shitty Dom I never knew how to deal with topping from the bottom. I always just thought I was doing it wrong. As D/Lg Daddy Iâm infinitely more confident and have ways to recognize and deal with bratty Littles.
At least when I was growing up this was presented as a romantic opportunity for the princess. Â But Iâm… pretty sure it was more of an opportunity for the gnarly dudes, connected connivers, entitled jocks, and social climbers to score themselves some high-class pussy.
Yup. Really romantic knowing that some muscleheadâs path to a piece of your ass was massacring unruly peasants slaying a dragon for… your dad.
While waxing poetic about âromanceâ and âchivalryâ itâs best to remember who exactly the men were back when âmen were men.â
And just a not-so-brief aside here. Â When women talk about Patriarchy and the objectification of women theyâre ultimately talking about the literal use of women as objects – currency for transactions between usually older men a.k.a. family patriarchs. Â
Consider further that notions that women âwant alpha malesâ or to âtrade upâ comes not from biology but from romantic history. Â
Consider even further that throttling womenâs sexuality (slut shaming, madonna/whore, why buy the cow when the milk is free, suppressing sex work, etc) all came from the serious inconvenience of women having their own preferences for who to marry or maybe just bed. Â
I mean, imagine how annoying it would be if your $20.00 bill – an object in your wallet – had its own opinion about where it wanted to be spent! Â Thatâs how âpatriarchyâ feels about womenâs sexual autonomy!
Finally, if Patriarchy sees women as fungible objects to be given to men in return for favors, what does that imply about Patriarchy’s attitude towards men? Â If young men werenât sexually starved – if they werenât kept beholden to older, more powerful men for the chance for sex and love – just how eager would they be to, you know, stick their heads in the dragon’s mouth, work themselves into early graves, charge into machine gun fire, or otherwise prove themselves âworthyâ to older men?
When guys ask why should they should care about feminism, or why should theyâd want to give up on Patriarchy, ask them if they think theyâre really better off in a system that withholds love, affection, and sex unless they (figuratively if not literally) work for âthe man?â
Seriously.  Patriarchy objectifies women, yeah. But why? So they could be used as leverage against, and currency to purchase, servitude from men. Â
How odd that incels and their ilk are the second greatest victims but also, perversely, the biggest advocates and (too often) foot soldiers of Patriarchy.
Women, who after all are human beings not things, have an obvious interest in feminism. But Patriarchy cuts both ways, champ.  Youâre better off with feminism too.
Letâs face it, your womanâs idea of the perfect date night may be all about romance, but yours is all about seeing her being taken by that sexy stud next door while she sucks your cock⊠– S
Worth a reblog
Thatâs one seriously gendered meme, huh? But really, for almost everybody itâs comparing apples and oranges  ice fishing.
Like most women, most men actually enjoy walks in the park, conversation, dinner and a movie, and lots of cuddling and kissing. And like a relatively small number of men, a relatively small number women like âhotwifeâ three-ways with strangers. Â
Anddd…..
Many of those who like âhotwifeâ threeways also like romantic one-on-one dates.
Because one doesnât exclude the other, does it? In fact âhotwifeâ threeways isnât really dating at all, is it?
Yeah, yeah, itâs Tumblr porn, not real life. And narrow-fetish porn so not even all Tumblr porn!
Nothing wrong with a ânaughty side.â Not even anything wrong with catering to the your partnerâs fetishes or fantasies. But you could easily turn the meme around and suggest he âget with the program.â
Itâs tough having real, psychological-not-just-kink fetishes. Even tougher when your fetish depends on someone elseâs behavior to cater to it! Iâm not going to mock people for their fetishes. But, yeah, itâs pretty common for serious fetishists to imagine that everyone should share theirs. And that? That Iâm not very patient with at all. Â
This another reason Iâm leery of the âSubmissives have all the powerâ meme. I mean, Iâm sure there are Subs in the world who just arbitrarily say âoh, what the hell, Iâm going to kneel here till he finds some inspiration.â Everythingâs possible in kink! And since Submission is its own independent kink, goodness knows any number of Subs have been frustrated enough to think about trying it!
But Iâm⊠pretty sure âhope someone comes along and Dominates meâ isnât exactly an exercise in the kind of âpowerâ Doms are always going on about.
No, itâs not the case that Doms have all the power! Ahaha, no, not that either.
Instead thereâs a reason we call it power exchange though. D/S, like D/Lg, is a cooperative relationship, not a unilateral one. Itâs a dance between partners, not a solo performance by one or the other.
We inspire each other, little bird. Each of us receiving, reflecting, and amplifying the otherâs power, one leading, the other following, till bells ring for both of us.
Okay, thatâs all nice but WHY THE FUCK DID SOMEONE PUT A WATERMARK ON THIS? Â i know the people behind this picture, it has done several rounds on Tumblr for over 4 years. Â Neither of them are named Velvet, nicknamed Velvet, use Velvet as a ID or avatar on social media.
It sucks that someone would steal someoneâs personal pictures and then post them up like itâs theirs with their own watermark??
@realifekink is deactivated. But He was a Tumblr friend of mine back in the day.
Ugh! Iâm away from my desk and canât edit worthcrap on my phone. But @sweet-but-spicy-girlyâs right. Her link is legit. The photo at the top of this post is stolen.
If I can figure it out tomorrow Iâll repost with credit where credit is due. But for now, just want to acknowledge whatâs up.
