Ahaha. All you have to do is ask, right, kittycat?

Just so you know, this is a very, very lovely way to do this.  Nobody’s on top.  Nobody had to be in a hurry.  Just sweet nuzzling and kissing till… one or the other of us completely loses the plot.

The underlying truth is “this feels wonderful, thank you so much.”

Wish there was a way to let you know how it feels when you do this.  How impossibly good it feels when you do this!

No matter how gentle or rough we play, and no matter what harsh or tender words we use, the underlying truth is “this feels wonderful, thank you so much.”

in the late afternoon when it’s so hot and there’s no air conditioning a good top will gather your thick dark hair and gently blow on the back of your neck…

Re your post about blowjobs: I’m a guy and don’t really get the hype either. I’m 29 and have been with 8 women, only 2 of whom could finish the ‘job’. It takes a lot of effort for me to cum, regardless of how we’re trying or whether I’m masturbating or somebody else is involved. Many women talk the talk but can’t back it. Perhaps it’s because I’m on the small side but few will even feign enthusiasm (why do it begrudgingly? That’s not hot). Receiving feels too passive for me too… (part 1, TBC)

victorianmaidn:

oldenoughtobeyourfather:

xxxamorexxx:

This!!!  It took me years to learn how to come from blowjobs.  They always felt heavenly but it’s hard to get me in the right places.  Or something.  I’d had the opposite problem with PIV intercourse.  That too felt (still feels!) heavenly but if I wasn’t hyper careful I’d come within seconds.  

On the other hand there are quite a few men who feel the opposite – they can come easily from blowjobs but not PIV intercourse.  And meanwhile quite a few women don’t come from receiving oral.

I want to be clear here that it’s a mistake to say it’s the partner’s problem.  And a bigger mistake to say “well they wouldn’t have that problem with me!”  Because, yeah, even if you can tie a cherry stem with your tongue that might not work for some partners.

So here’s the main deal though: we’ve got a scarcity model of sex such that certain things are supposed to be “ultimate” in pleasure based a little more on how likely they are to happen or how hard they are to “acquire.”  

As various people (I’ll credit Mark Twain) have said “if peanuts were scarce instead of sturgeon the wealthy would fawn over peanut butter instead of caviar.”  Same with, say, ass fucking which, from my perspective, feels pretty much exactly the same as PIV.  And yet if you go following Tumblr or Reddit or PornHub porn it’s presented as some kind of holy grail.  This has, I suspect, more to do with partners’ relative enthusiasm for receiving anal, and therefore its scarcity, more than it’s actual… I dunno what to call it… “pleasure value” or something maybe?

Anyway, point is that it’s just not true that everyone will get off from fellatio in general or deep-throat fellatio in particular, or cunnilingus, or PIV intercourse, or giant cocks, or ass fucking, or threeways, or rimming, or much younger or older partners, or spanking, (FFS) “squirting” and other g-spot orgasms, “fucking all night,” or… pretty much any single highly-valued sex act that most people never do once (and, notably, that very few do twice.)

And the bottom line from me to you, as usual, is: there’s exactly nothing wrong with enjoying any or all of these things but don’t stress if X, Y, or/and Z doesn’t do anything for you.  You’re SOOOO not alone.  The big difference, usually, is that the others are embarrassed to admit it doesn’t do much for them either.

It depends why the little is doing it

To make Daddy cum? I guess

But that would be a byproduct for me.

My desire is simply to worship you and by extension your cock. I want to kiss and lick it, feel it grow. Trace the vein with my tongue, suckle on you heavy, full balls. Stroke you and lick the vein some more, make you feel so good. I just want you to feel good Daddy.

Since I’ve been going on a lot about the “downsides” of oral sex, this point by @victorianmaidn is actually pretty important too: a blowjob you give me isn’t always about me!  Me licking you isn’t always all about you either.

Sometimes I just want to enjoy the all-senses banquet I get by going down on you.  Seeing you, the sounds and taste and aroma, how you feel against my tongue, how you move your legs and hips, how you breathe and whisper and moan, how you grab or stroke my hair?  That turns me on!  That makes me hot and hard and very happy.  I wouldn’t want to do it if it bored you or outright turned you off.  I love getting you off, but I also just love doing it.

And sometimes?  Sometimes you just want my dick in your mouth, don’t you?  And even if I don’t always come that way?  It still always feels good, bluejay.  You’re a good girl.

remember: play nice and no biting…

itsshinycollectordestinyworld:

Hai – it’s me again, your unfavourite soapbox rant-a-dork. I’ve got my box and my glitter and I’m ready – are you? If not please scroll on by, I’m sure there’s some other more interesting stuff for you to do. If you’re feeling it, then read on – remember: play nice and no biting anything other than biscuits.

TW: here be blowjob pirates.

Three, maybe four – I can’t be exactly sure because too much eye rolling – posts not-quite-in-a-row-but-close-enough-for-it-not-to-matter about men and the swallowing of the cum.

*sigh*

Look – seriously, I know that the swallowing of the cum is a very very contentious and very very sensitive topic but at some point people need to actually just grow the fuck up.

Not every person can swallow cum. Not every person wants to swallow cum. Not every person wants their cum swallowed.

A person’s worth or value does not depend on someone swallowing their fucking prostate secretions. Nor is that where one’s validity as a man/dominant/human being is found.

Cum is quite literally just a human bodily fluid like snot or blood or urine or sweat or tears or whatever other liquidy goings on the human body produces.

Do the men who freak the fuck out because their partner won’t swallow their cum also freak out because their partner won’t swallow their snot/piss/blood/sweat etc? If not – why? It’s the same fucking thing, love juice ain’t any more special than the other goop. It has sperm in it, you say? Well no actually – not always and also so fucking what? That only counts if you deposit it in the vagina…and you want to make friends with an available egg – otherwise, nope, sorry no potato.

Do the men who feel insulted because their partner spat out their cum also feel insulted if their partner spits out their shit/vomit/toe or belly button fuzz? If not – why? Again it’s the same fucking thing – lumpy smelly gloop, made by the body to fulfill a specific purpose. What’s that you say – toe and belly button fuzz do not serve a purpose? Au contraire my dear dissenter, of course they fucking do – they gather used-up skin cells and other detritus and they very nicely remind you when to take a fucking shower.

Do the men who diminish and insult their partner for not swallowing cum also diminish and insult their partner for not swallowing all the other swallowable-because-they-can-go-down-a-throat-but-really-probably-shouldn’t things bodies make? If not – why? Because – it’s the same fucking thing. Earwax can go down your throat – but should you eat it? Toe nails can go down your throat – but should you swallow them? Hair will go down your throat but does that really mean it should? Eyeballs would probably slide down quite easily but that does not mean that you should slurp one up.

And honestly, who the fuck decided that the fluid result of orgasm from blowjob should only be swallowed in the first place? There are so many fucking places to put that stuff – swallowing is just one possibility. Think face hair body floor – fuck, shoot it on the wall and make art – you might be the next Picasso!

And to further add to the fun and games – I wonder how many folks have considered that swallowing cum is as much kinky fuckery as swallowing piss or blood. Just because it’s been mainlined as “normal” does not detract from it’s kinky status.

And before anyone gets their knickers in a bunch, allow me to remind you that discriminating against people based on whether or not they will participate in a kink – in this case swallowing bodily fluids – is skanky weird stupid and utter bullshit.

Kink shaming is most uncool. As everybody keeps saying “if you don’t love it/feel it/want it on some level, don’t do it and don’t allow yourself to be pressured into it”. In fact, if someone talks about their partner/anyone trying to coerce them into swallowing piss or being pissed on (or anything else they don’t want to do) when they don’t want to, everyone tends to get all up in arms and start yelling about red flags and hard limits and all that stuff. Why would the issue of swallowing/not swallowing cum be any different?

People do not tend to take it as a personal insult if their partner does not want to drink their piss/blood/vomit/tears etc. They tend to recognise it as a choice and/or preference. Why is swallowing/not swallowing cum any different?

Obviously people like what people like and people want/need what people want/need and that’s totally awesome – swallow don’t swallow whatever floats your boat – really. It’s all good all allowed all part of being human. My issue is with all the fucking shaming and blaming that goes on. It’s unnecessary it’s cruel it’s silly. We really do have more pressing problems to deal with as human beings and kinky fuckers than getting all bent out of shape because so-and-so spat out a mouthful of cum. Or refused to swallow. Or doesn’t want to swallow or whatthefuckever.

Do whatever you need to do to create your ideal life and do you loud and proud. Do you with no apologies no remorse no fucking regret and for the love of fuck – let others do the same.

I do not need anyone to agree with me and I’m guessing that most of you don’t and won’t – that is fine, really.

All I am asking is that we stop force-feeding people bullshit and shaming them into believing that it’s the only fucking way…

It isn’t. It really fucking isn’t.

Thank you for reading and have a great day.

Shiny🐾

Nicely said!  Not everybody loves the taste, texture, consistency and/or circumstances of semen in their mouths.

I certainly understand not wanting to swallow whitish goopy stuff that seems to get positively adhesive on contact with water.  I get the shivers when I eat oysters, which admittedly aren’t quite the same thing… although that eye rolling “you don’t like raw oysters” you get from oyster lovers seems to be exactly the same reaction.  Oh, with the possible exception being that many or most guys wouldn’t want to swallow it either.  (I’m not going to presume that all gay men swallow enthusiastically either.)

So years and years ago there was an exuberant switch of a blogger named Laura the Tooth.  She had pretty big submissive side but she was absolutely wild about pegging men.  She had a pretty awesome motto that I think can be turned into a general principle: if anyone gets it in the ass then everyone gets it in the ass.

In this context, if one’s partner insists that you swallow their come it’s ok to replay with “if anyone swallows your come then everyone swallows your come.”  If he wouldn’t do it then why should you?  (And if he says it’s “gay” then laugh in his face while you’re pulling on his clothes – it’s not gay when you do it so how’s it gay if he does?

I don’t like the taste or consistency of my semen so I don’t expect anyone else to.

That said…

I know some women are hugely into it.  (Where some ≠ all.  At all.  By a mile.)

And there seems to be a big range of reasons why they’re into it.

Some people like the taste.  Some like the “completeness” of it.  Some prefer to swallow than deal with the mess.  Some no doubt get a kinky or submissive charge out of the “male essence” of it.  Others probably just don’t care but it makes you happy.  And some are pretty miserable about it but do it anyway because “everybody else does.”

But like I say, some ≠ all.  In fact some might not even equal most!

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying it’s totally fine to shriek and gag and say “eww gross” and run to the bathroom and immediately gargle with antiseptic.”  Well.  I guess unless you’re into that, in which case more power to you.  I guess.

But that’s where we get into the “variety is the spice of life” arena.  If you don’t want to swallow please don’t!  In fact if you don’t even want it in your mouth don’t let me come in your mouth!  It feels nicer but not that much nicer.

And speaking of variety, anyone who thinks the alternatives are spit and swallow needs to work on their creativity. 

The hottest thing that ever happened to me was when someone made me come with her mouth and then immediately drooled it all back over my cock to lubricate those last few super-sensitive strokes.  It felt heavenly.  It was sweet and sensual.  And she didn’t have to swallow, which she mentioned later she wasn’t that crazy about doing.

Still other partners haven’t wanted my dick anywhere near their mouth in the first place.  Which has always seemed reasonable enough to me: kink in the classic/clinical sense has always been as much about alternatives to what doesn’t work for people as alternatives that do.  If you’re a kinkster it just seems polite, not to mention ethical, to respect both.

Bottom line: for goodness sake can we not shame people who don’t want to swallow?

Soft Daddies don’t make up rules or dream up punishments…

sexybabesinaction:

Soft Daddies don’t make up rules or dream up punishments for them, do we?  No, we don’t.  But we do support goals you set for yourself.  So if you say you blew off ab and leg day the consequences are going to fit the crime, mightn’t they?

When you’re in no hurry at all and you’re terribly fond of each other and you’re horny but not urgently so…

thelittlespanishbaby:

roughaussie:

suppenny:

Let me suck your cock while you’re doing some normal shit like watching tv or reading. You’re not going to cum right away, I just want to feel your weight in my mouth, your tip against my lips, my spit covering you. Let it touch the back of my throat gently. I’ll run my tongue all over your balls and pull them into my mouth for a bit. I’ll be the happiest girl in the world getting to taste you.

I just wanna appreciate how pretty you are. ☺️

Casually suck my cock as I read the morning paper

Casual cock warming is awesome

Years ago a friend I spent a lot of time with would always put her arm around me and gently cup my cock in her hand when she was spooning me.  Sort of the way I’d cup her breast if I was spooning her.

It wasn’t particularly sexual in a “want to get you off” sort of way.  She just liked men’s bodies in general and, maybe, mine in particular.

And every now and then, on Sunday mornings like this one, when we’d spent the night together, we’d sometimes wind up lying on our sides, end to end, her head resting on my inner thigh and mine on hers.  And we’d talk and touch and nuzzle and taste each other.  She wouldn’t take me in her mouth to fire me up or make me come, any more than I’d slurp an inner lip between my lips and softly swirl the inner side with my tongue to get her off.

When you’re in no hurry at all and you’re terribly fond of each other and you’re horny but not urgently so it just feels really comfortable, and comforting, intimate and erotic, and even though it’s not immediately erotic it feels really, really good.  To receive, sure, but also to give!

This is a feeling that’s so often lost in all the hurly-burly, overscheduled, everything-for-a-purpose world where we “hydrate” instead of drink water, and eat “nutrients” instead of food, and privilege orgasms over eroticism.  And…

…confuse casual cock sucking with “gift giving” or Submission.  Instead, as with my old friend, cock nursing can be simply companionably vanilla.

Then school ended, all those years ago, and summer began and as one does when you’re in college my friend and I ended up in different cities in different time zones.

I’ve always adored being touched and sucked with no other purpose in mind.  Same as I enjoy stroking and cupping and tasting you!  And on this lazy Sunday morning as another summer begins @suppenny’s post has me missing it terribly.  What are you doing this morning?  And why are you so many time-zones away?