Pretend (verb): to engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.
synonyms: amuse oneself, entertain oneself, enjoy oneself, have fun, have a good time, relax, rest, be at leisure, occupy oneself, divert oneself, play games, frolic, frisk, gambol, romp, cavort, caper
Example: âYou pretended my big strong hands were really forcing you while I pretended you really needed my hands to guide you.â
Yeah. Call me a fuddy-duddy Daddy but no matter how domly-Dom you are itâs not for you to say âshe needs to choke on it.â Itâs ok for her to say she needs to choke on it. And some really do! Â
But then Iâm a Daddy, arenât it? So if it seems like youâre in that kind of mood itâs ok for me to say âdo you need to choke on it, paintbrush?â And if you nod your head and say âunhuh, Daddy, I really do.â And then Iâll take care of you that way too, ok?
The mistake a lot of folks make about 69 is to imagine that the goal is to have 1970â˛s-style âsimultaneous orgasms.â The perfectly reasonable complaint being that itâs awfully hard to be very good at what youâre doing if your partnerâs being very good at what theyâre doing.
It can be a lot more fun if you look at it as competition to see who can get the other completely lose the plot. Â
But really, the best way to appreciate 69 is to see it as you giving your partner an intimate sensory experience while you completely wind their clocks. They can enjoy looking, touching, and tasting you while you drive them home. And then they can do the same for you.
And really, even if youâve got them too loopy to get you off? It still feels wonderful when your partnerâs lazily mouthing you while youâre getting them off, doesnât it?
So thereâs this silly conceit in porn, especially written porn, that the protagonist ejaculates so much his partner somehow âcanât swallow it all.â
Which reminds me of an awesome joke I heard as a teenager:
Q: Whatâs gray and comes in quarts A: Elephants
Ta-dum-te-dump!
Meanwhile over here in reality, actual men come more in teaspoons than quarts. So the chance that a partner really couldnât âswallow it allâ is pretty low. In fact, given how quickly even an average person can chug a beer itâs down right implausible, isnât it?
So…
You know how (mostly) men say âvirgins are tighterâ when really itâs that virgins are more tense? Iâm just gonna put it out there that itâs not that women canât âswallow it allâ as much as a lot of women would rather not.
Thatâs not a bad thing at all. There are way more options than the cliche´ âspit vs swallow vs âfacial.ââ What sheâs doing in the gif? Letting it all drool back out over his cock and her fingers? That… um… really works too, doesnât it?
A nice Daddy says âomg, angel, what got into you? I didnât expect this at all. You look so ridiculously cute looking up like that at me. Feels so incredible! I know you like when I pull your hair, is this ok? Oh, sweetie, youâre going to make. me. come. any. second…!!!â
A mean Daddy says âIâll keep filming if you want, bootstrap, but folks are going to be noticing that open toilet seat lid than noticing you.â
Nothing wrong with just sucking on the tip but at least if itâs me I wouldnât be able to come that way unless you already had me super, super close. But itâs pretty common to just have a little bit in your mouth and your hands to stroke the rest of him. Â
Again, everybodyâs mileage differs, but using your hands during a blowjob is pretty common. A lot of guys have a hard time coming just from your lips and tongue. Thereâs a reason so many porn videos have the man pull out of his partnerâs mouth and stroke himself till he comes.
And if even porn stars canât always get their partners off with just their mouths itâs not failing if you canât either.
So. Bottom line. Itâs ok to suck just the tip but if you want to be sure he has an orgasm then either you or he should think about stroking him too.
Because a good Daddy understands that sometimes you just like something in your mouth while youâre getting yourself off. And so you know, just because youâre too, um, distracted to get me off too it still feels wonderful!
What bullshit is this?? So what heâs saying in effect is that his dick is good enough to be in your mouth, but not good enough to be in his mouth even secondhand? How old is this guy, 12?Â
Fuuuuuuuck that right to hell in a handbasket. Tell him no more blowjobs, or better yet, maybe find someone who acts like a grown up.
First Iâm going to say that the anon is 100% within her rights not to give her partner any more blowjobs. Period.
But then Iâm going to gently push back on this, just a little. While Iâve never minded kissing a partner when sheâs gone down on me, about half my partners havenât wanted to be kissed after I go down on them. Iâve never had reason to believe it was ever out of disrespect for me. Usually itâs that theyâre fastidious about the messiness, or squeamish about their taste or scent, or have uncomfortable but non-homophobic associations with genitals of their own sex. (I say ânon-homophobicâ because, for instance, a long-term partner who left me for another woman didnât enjoy it either.) Â
Youâll note Iâm trying to be generous to the anonâs partner instead of⌠um⌠surprised, so Iâm going to propose that maybe the anonâs partner might feel the same way.
That said!
Expecting your partner to a) give you a blowjob and then b) making them rinse their mouth or brush their teeth before you kiss them afterward is pretty goddamn rude.
If you donât want your sweetie to kiss you after theyâve gone down on you, maybe you shouldnât ask them to go down on you at all.
