“Thinking of your [Little] as behaving badly disposes you to think of punishment. Thinking of your [Little] as struggling to handle something difficult encourages you to help them through their distress.”
Not sure who said this but next time someone asks the difference between Daddy Doms and non-Dom Daddies I’ll have to remember this.
Mind you the difficulty I might be encouraging you to overcome might be a bit of sadistic or bondage mischief I’ve dreamed up. Or could be from administering consequences you chose for yourself when setting a goal. Because “soft Daddy” doesn’t have to mean “vanilla,” does it?
But actual punishment isn’t very useful if you want meaningful long-term results.
The best leaders present commands that appear as opportunities to those they lead.
Any social analysis of primly, safely “slutty” costumes one night a year is going to be damning isn’t it?
One of my favorite kinky friends dresses in full 17th Century Agnes Nutter witches outfits in Halloween in part because for the rest of the year she feels perfectly content being sexy whenever she fucking feels like it.
And no, not every other day of the year. Whenever she feels like it. Feeling sexy isn’t either or, is it?
It’s all a matter of what it takes for you to feel safe enough to be intimate with them.
And for the record this is true even if you’re the roughest, toughest, anonymous/no-strings, most jaded, kinkster evarrr! Bottom or top it just takes more work for you to trust someone enough to let them in.
This is not a criticism. This is not mocking.
This is just an invitation to try something on to see if it fits.
Easy on overbroad assertions about sex and gender there, champ.
Not to be all pedantic but there are a hell of a lot of women who gleefully submit to Doms they wouldn’t trust to feed their goldfish! And one of the big reasons they do so is they’re confident and independent enough not to mistake their kink for their personal identity.
While you might never know it from Tumblr posts, there are plenty of men who also like to be choked and spanked. But it would be weird if they had to go around saying “I’m still an independent man,” wouldn’t it?
In which case WTF jumping shitty on women who like it? WTF deciding it makes anyone else better than them?
Not to put too fine a point on it but have you ever been spanked or choked? Pretty much by definition it’s not for the weak.
girls are still shaming other girls for masturbating…. like grow up and buy a fucking vibrator sarah it’s almost 2018
OMFG! Please!
There used to be this cool progressive sex-ed-for-adult-women website called, I think “The Cherry?” Anyway, I’ll never forget a video roundtable with the major contributors where they talked about all the pressure and stigma they felt about masturbating.
One of the real eye-openers was one who said “growing up we told each other ‘yeah, that’s something only guys need to do,’ girls are ‘better’ than that.” And then she shook her head.
I mean. Don’t shame girls for anything that isn’t literally shameful. But especially not for masturbating!
(And as for boys shaming girls for masturbating, what the actual fuck?!?!?)
This! If she wants a dick pic she’ll take it herself!
This is the biggest misconception about women and dicks. Most women like their partners’ dicks just fine. Love them. Daydream about them. Want to put them in their mouths or pussies. Maybe even want to have and keep pictures of them too!
But “my partner’s dick” probably isn’t the same thing as “your dick,” is it? Hmm… roughly 2,000,000,000 straight, adult women in the world… only one you… even if you’re poly as hell you’re unlikely to have more than 500 partners so… ok, at best there’s still at best a 1/40,000,000 chance a random woman is going to be happy to see your dick.
Even though she likely adores her partner’s dick.
“Doesn’t want to see your dick pic” ≠ “doesn’t like dicks.”
By Thomas Oldenough | October 20, 2019 | Comments Off on I need your opinion on this. So i’m 20 and still a virgin BUT a have a very very dirty mind. I’ve started talking to this guy but i’m nervous about telling him that i’m a virgin….i’m scared that i’m gonna get rejected…help
I’ll say this only once.. anyone who judges you because you’ve not had sex does not deserve to even have you in that potential position in the first place.
And not to be even more prickly but anyone who says “now that you’ve had sex once everything is fine” also needs a reset. Because that’s also judgment.
Just like experiencing sex doesn’t change you, experiencing sex once doesn’t change you either.
We’d all be better off if we erased “virgin” and “virginity” from our vocabularies. “Virginity” in both tradition and law is related to a woman’s property value to her current (father) and prospective (husband) custodial males. Just decline to participate in that. Women need to stop using the word. Men really gotta stop using the word!
You know why you want to be sweet and supportive to someone when it’s their first time? It’s not because it’s some kind of privilege or some kind of burden, and it’s definitely not because it’s somehow snapping anybody’s “seal of freshness!” Instead it’s because they’re a beginner! It’s because if someone you like wants to do a thing, and you enjoy doing the thing too, you want them to enjoy it enough to want to do it again.
Same with the second time too!
And never mind that intercourse is only one tiny part of sex! That’s a whole nother conversation altogether.
Comments Off on I need your opinion on this. So i’m 20 and still a virgin BUT a have a very very dirty mind. I’ve started talking to this guy but i’m nervous about telling him that i’m a virgin….i’m scared that i’m gonna get rejected…help
An older, experienced Daddy understands and appreciates that not all Littles wear polka dot dresses. It’s not what you wear that makes you Little, it’s how you feel, isn’t it, spinneret?
