okay yes i have a “daddy kink” and yes i wanna be “your little slut” but also if you call me bad i’ll have a breakdown so please be kind to me
Despite the similar acronyms “D/Lg” and “DD/Lg” are very different kinks. Yes, they overlap in places. No, they’re not interchangeable.
Also, good time to mention that when someone says “a Daddy kink” it doesn’t automatically make you her Daddy, and “your Little slut” doesn’t automatically make you my Little slut.
okay yes i have a “daddy kink” and yes i wanna be “your little slut” but also if you call me bad i’ll have a breakdown so please be kind to me
Despite the similar acronyms “D/Lg” and “DD/Lg” are very different kinks. Yes, they overlap in places. No, they’re not interchangeable.
Also, good time to mention that when someone says “a Daddy kink” it doesn’t automatically make you her Daddy, and “your Little slut” doesn’t automatically make you my Little slut.
Confession time: I only like spankings for the effect it has on you. That’s one of the reasons I was never a very successful Dom: if you really don’t want a spanking I really don’t want to give you one. If it doesn’t really turn you on for any of the reasons getting spanked can be such a turn-on then… let’s spend the time doing something else that will! Because, honestly, what would be the point?
But if it does turn you on? You might not like how much I like it too, kittycub. 😏
He once told me to build a blanket fort when I had the sads.
✨ evidence is mounting ✨
Back of @instructor144. if he says he’s not a Daddy he’s not a Daddy.
He’s good natured about it but it’s like trying to tell a Furry they’re really a Fursuiter. Different enough kinks even though both may end up with fuzz everywhere. Same with Doms and Daddies.
I mean with the right partner I’ll do Dom things sometimes. (Mmm, a leash wrapped tight around my closed hand right next your collar! 😍) But I’m soooo not a Dom.
And yes, I’m not making a fuss out of it because it’s fun to tease. (Though Doms and Daddies both are likely to remind you that girls who tease wind up on their hands and knees. 😇)
This is just my personal opinion but if it were me I’d try and keep things more separate and say things like “My Daddy and I are in a D/S relationship” or “I’m a Sub and a Little” or “I’m Daddy and a Dom.”
There’s exactly zero wrong with saying DD/Lg, at all, at all. But by-definition the acronym excludes Dominant Littles like @bubblegumdomme.
If it was just as natural or common to say D/DLg it would be even more fine.
Ugh. The main thing I want to do is not erase *anybody* and that would include you if you relate with your sweetie as a Little Submissive and he’s a Dominant Daddy. And so I’ll always say it’s great for you to use your acronym.
For instance I don’t want it assumed that if I’m a Daddy I’m also a Dom. I’m a terrible Dom in terms of the classic D/S things like rules, structure, punishments, choosing what you wear or eat, etc. And same with Bubblegumdomme who probably doesn’t want it assumed that if she’s a Little it’s ok for beezers on the web to assume she wants to be Dominated. Or, much worse, that if she doesn’t want to be Dominated then she’s just a “bratty Little” who needs a really hard-core Dom to “put her in her place.”
As another friend who asked me a very similar question replied “My experience of DD/lg is going to be different than others, I get it. My introduction to it started with D/s first and then gradually into DD/lg, so that’s why my version of it and the community that I’ve fallen into, typically consists of the people that do relate to themselves as a relationship with a Daddy Dom and a Little sub, but of course that’s not the only way, as you’ve showed in so many other examples.”
Again, don’t want to, heh, diminish anyone’s experience of DD/Lg. As I’ve said elsewhere, one good path into Submission is to not only surrender control but to go a step further and surrender your adult maturity. So it’s definitely legitimate… but it’s not interchangeable.
My main point is that a lot of D/S people say Daddy/Little is a pure subset of D/S. But that’s more the “when the only tool you have is a hammer everything looks like a nail.” That’s their experience of it, and that’s ok.
But it’s not exclusive.
Here’s one more way to look at it. A lot of people assume all Subs are masochists, right? And therefore they’re going to get off on corporal punishment. When really a lot of D/S involves no pain at all – it’s all discipline and no punishment or disobedience at all. Submission and masochism are separate kinks that often go together but definitely don’t always.
Same with Littles and Submission. Or Daddies and Domination. Each are two separate kinks that often go well together. But other times they definitely don’t.
“Thoughts on the dollbreaker blog? I’m not trying to start drama or anything, I just spent a few minutes scrolling through and now I feel sick and really bad about myself. Guess i just want reassurance that not all older men think like that? I’m never goibg to fit the mold of lean and petite with perky breasts.” — Anonymous Ask
So years ago I was listening to a panel of child-development experts and television programming and the moderator mentioned that they couldn’t stand Barney the TV dinosaur. One of the panelists expertly dragged him, saying “they don’t make it for you.”
A few years later my infant son was sitting in my lap, sick with a cold, while we watched TeleTubbies. At some point they did… something or other… and my son laughed like an adult. Not the nervous or silly infant laugh babies often do around grownups, but a deep in the belly “heh heh heh” laugh of appreciation.
That’s when that original panelist’s remark sank in. TeleTubbies wasn’t for me. But it sure as hell was right on the money for an 18-month-old.
So that’s how I feel about dollbreaker. I’d never taken a close look till you mentioned it – I’d bump into their reposts from time to time but, no surprise, it’s not for me! After taking a close look I’ll say the author is very good at a particular kind of topping that, based on his engagement, seems to appeal to Subs with an equally particular humiliation/degradation/inadequacy kink.
I’m going to be hyper generous and say that whether accidentally or on purpose, their seemingly random posts of very young, very slender women deepens that sense of erotic inadequacy for their followers.
But looking at their follower engagement the author is ironically very accommodating. They either don’t receive or at least don’t reblog comments from the usual misogynist/red-pill/incel, legitimately anti-feminist you see elsewhere on Tumblr. And based on their occasional meta comments I don’t think the author supports that kind of bullshit in real life.
In other words I get the impression they clearly distinguish between their and their user’s kink vs actual real-world misogyny, gender degradation, and humiliation. And that’s very different from a lot of the legitimately misogynistic stun-porn xxxtreme “bondage” porn sites like Kink.com that cater to primarily vanilla-male-spectators consumers.
After reading 50 or 60 of their posts I get the strong impression that dollbreaker caters to women subs. I don’t like it. Like you it makes me feel queasy. I can see how it makes you feel bad about yourself. And if your kink isn’t based on those bad feelings about yourself then, yeah, I can see how it would make you feel sick too.
But here’s the deal about that: there are huge numbers of people out there, including other kinksters, who think the whole D/Lg kink and all its practitioners are equally sickening, patriarchal, regressive, etc. My assessment is that dollbreaker and their followers are in a similar position.
I’ll just echo what that panelist said so many years ago: dollbreaker doesn’t make it for us.
I’m so willing to be made wrong about this. But that’s my honest, admittedly generous assessment after a first serious look.
p.s. If my assessment is correct then I could do without the whole “sorry feminists” lines they occasionally toss in. It’s not because it’s “not for me,” it’s because it comes across as lazy signaling rather than creative topping.
You know, when I started this blog a little more than two years ago I was pretty confused, kind of lost, wondering what I was going to do now that I finally realized I was one of these Daddy things. I honestly thought there were only a handful of Littles in the world and had no idea if I’d be able to connect. So I just started blogging about things that interested me, and slowly found out that I was… mistaken.
Just because I hadn’t paid much attention to D/Lg or DD/Lg it turns out that, well, there are quite a few others who do!
The funny thing is I figured it would all be over once Tumblr pulled their apocalypse bullshit in Dec. 2018. I had a little more than 4,000 followers and figured that would be pretty much it.
But 5,000 followers? Goodness!
So thank you so much to all the actual human beings who’ve followed me over the years. There have been least as many bots and spammers and genuinely disturbing people that I’ve blocked, so, yeah, every one of you is a real human being.
You’ve taught me a lot. And you’ve kept me responsible! And listened when I really needed an ear. I honestly can’t thank you enough. But thank you just the same!
Awesome answer! Just wonderful. Because, yeah, contrary to the bushwa you see on “BDSM” porn sites like Kink.com or similar XXXTremeMeatGrinder and HottieRunOverByHisCar sites, much of the time the things D/S, D/Lg, M/S, etc., people do together are perfectly vanilla. Even blood-play kinks often involve the top in their bathrobe helping the bottom in their sweatpants put peroxide and Bactine on their welts the next couple of days. That’s just how human beings are in relationships. And maybe 95% of real kink relationships are long-term domestic relationships.
I think one thing for people who have never been down the full path of D/s (i.e. collaring, ownership, journaling, tasking, structure, guidance, and of course D/s play or BDSM) —I think people who have not done that may assume that these two types of relationships are drastically different.
In some ways they are but in many ways, they are not — you still struggle and disagree and have passion and lust and love. But for those who D/s feels right, I find those things mentioned above escalate the experience and feelings, at least for me.
So did I miss vanilla when I had D/s? No – it was always there all along. What is vanilla but just a D/s relationship without D/s for a while. So some days it’s just talking about work and life, and that’s pretty vanilla. Then there are some days when it’s a lot of D/s and what I found is on those days, we were always the closest.
Whether it be play or tasks or guidance, it just brings you together more.
Hope that answers your question.
-TRD
[The] full path of D/s (i.e. collaring, ownership, journaling, tasking, structure, guidance…
See, that right there is why I say I’m a Daddy and not a Dom. Collars are fun for pet play, and for light bondage. But that whole capital-C Collaring thing (like getting married) or journaling? And anything with a name like “tasking?” Just… yeah, I could go through the motions with a Sub but my heart was never in it. so I thought I was just a really shitty Dom. Turns out I’m a pretty good non-Dom Daddy though.
So here’s a little more about that Daddy vs. Dom thing.
As a parent I provided structure (bedtimes and fingers out of the fan, and predictability, and meal and homework times) but I didn’t make very many rules and maybe because of that I never had to do much punishment or rule-making at all.
That let me spend a heck of a lot of time getting to discover who *they* were! Which was one of the best feelings in the world! Sure, maybe I’d provide guidance (”let’s get you some juggling scarves to practice on before you try juggling knives, ok?) But it was mostly about letting them be more of themselves than turning them into what I wanted them to be.
So I like that about relationships too. I’m not a Sub where it’s all about you. At all (ahaha, no!) But as a Daddy I’m more of a shepherd than a Dominant boss.
Gonna say that one more time: I’ve always been more of a shepherd than a boss. For me that’s the biggest difference between a Daddy and a Dom.
Well. A shepherd until I get you on your knees with my fingers in your mouth. Then Daddy’s gonna own you, little princess! For as long as it takes for us both to feel content.
And afterwards I’m still going to wrap you up in my big strong arms and say “so tell me alll about your day, sunshine.”
When you say “I don’t know what you want me to do” my answer is almost always “just be who you already are, haribrush, because you’re already my heart’s desire.”
This isn’t always what you want to hear, because as a human being with full agency you want to do and not just be.
This makes me a terrible Dom, doesn’t it? Because sometimes when you say “I don’t know what you want me to do” you mean “give me rules and structure.” Not doing that would make me a terrible Dom!
But I’m not a Dom, I’m a Daddy. What that means I that while I’ll provide structure and support and guidance, as a Daddy I want to discover who you are and help you discover who you are! As opposed to giving you rules and tasks that make you more what I want you to be.
But!
If I see you putting on nail polish in your pj bottoms I may want to “discover” you in ways that involve patiently waiting for you to finish with your toes (or maybe even offering to help, because, Daddies love helping their Littles polish their toes!) and then Doing Things that involve my big strong hands on your hips, possibly also involving discovering what you do when your pj bottoms are tangled around your ankles, or maybe just your knees…
