Shoutout to all the men and women who aren’t into choking and spanking and degrading etc – don’t let tumblr make you think there’s something wrong with you for not enjoying that sort of thing.
Big hats off to @carpe-noctvm. Yes. Absolutely!
50 Shades of Grey has sold 125 million copies, which sounds like a lot, right? Despite being translated into the 52 most-common languages, with 7.5 billion people in the world that’s still only one out of 60 people.
Yeah, yeah, 50 Shades readers is a pretty sloppy proxy for the number of kinksters in the world. But it’s still safe to say that only about one in 50 people are into “choking and spanking and degrading, etc.”
So you’re not into choking, spanking, degrading, etc? You’re not alone. You’re not weird. You’re not unhip. You’re totally cool.
Note: despite having been almost completely appropriated by gaslighters and abusers (cough 50 Shades of Grey!) the original principle of “sex positivity” was that we don’t judge or shame anybody’s sexuality as long as it’s freely and competently consensual. That means only “sex-negative” assholes shame vanilla people for being vanilla.
Final note: Even if you are kinky, don’t let Tumblr-style representations make you think there’s something wrong with the way you do it!
No, wait! Final final note: never forget that most “peer pressure” comes from internal judgment of what we think “everyone else” is doing and, especially, internal beliefs of what “others might think.” That’s as true for sex as it is for anything else “everyone else does.”
Ahahaha! One of my favorite things about being a soft D/Lg Daddy is that you can pervert me too, kittycat!
Just about every one of the wonderfully filthy, perverted, kinky things I’ve done I’ve learned from a usually very innocent-seeming partner who started out by saying “I’ve always wanted to…” or “I’ve got the most embarrassing fantasy but…”
It’s one of the things I mean when I say I’m demi-sexual. For instance I’m not ordinarily into ass play, or rose petals and satin sheets, or degradation play, or scratchy lace lingerie, or slapping, or… well… all kinds of vanilla, kinky, or downright depraved activities. But! But if it makes you wet and shivery? I might surprise myself even more than I surprise you!
It’s not that I don’t have firm limits and fixed boundaries. Or that I don’t have my own kinks. And I’ll very cheerfully help you explore those with me too.
But one of the things I enjoy most about being a soft D/Lg Daddy is alllll the wonderfully naughty, filthy things I’ve discovered thanks to Little-minded partners who’ve said “can we…”
I’ll certainly pervert you, teapot. But it’s just as likely you’ll pervert me too, isn’t it?
Yeah, well, all I can say in response to that is when I’m on my back with my hands tied behind me, when he has one hand around the back of my neck and one hand around my waist, when my feet are hanging off the bed so I can’t get any leverage, when the most active thing I can do is clench around his cock while he is using me hard and extracting every ounce of everything i have just to pleasure himself until he collapses in a satisfied heap, spent but still with energy to kiss me deeply and look into my eyes and tell me that he hopes this was a good reminder that I’m his?
I’ll take that any day.
D/s is a mindset, not a position.
OMG, missionary is sooooo D/S! Never forget that the same Victorians who came up with pretty much all our modern tropes about BDSM are the same ones who cooked up “missionary” sex.
I mean if you’re in the middle of vanilla bed death and only do rear-entry, or only do fellatio and cunnilingus after the Colbert monologue it’s not like you’re suddenly inspired and creative, right? So it’s not the position that’s the problem, right?
Meanwhile the goddamn “missionaries” invented the position specifically for orgasm denial!
Meanwhile what, exactly, could be less dominating than a 220 pound man pinning his 110 or 160 or 180 pound partner under him, his legs keeping her from being able to close her knees, his weight on her body, his cock finding its way inside her and driving her relentlessly into the mattress while she desperately tries to grind her clit up against him for a little contact… while she hears his animal breathing against her neck and shoulders and in his hoarse breath and low curses whispering in her ear as he uses her body like a rag doll?
For instance. 🤷♂️
Just saying that if you’re bored you’re probably boring.
Also, not to put too fine a point on it but do you actually even know what vanilla is?
It’s an orchid! An epiphyte! It’s native to gorgeous tropical islands. There’s an obvious reason why Georgia O’Keefe painted one. Its flavor enhances everything from chocolate to bourbon to bacon to creme brulee! If you use it right it tastes goddamn wonderful!
it sounds dumb but i just wanna lay in a flower field with the loml in a cute sundress (no panties obvs) and have passionate, needy sex on a picnic blanket
This is not dumb! No matter how simperingly vanilla or DSM5-code-breakingly kinky, if you can’t dream about having passionate, needy sex with your sweetheart in a field of flowers on a red and white checkered picnic blanket then why even get up in the morning?
Some things just transcend sex, gender, orientation, or kink. That? That’s one of them.
(Even if you’ve got allergies it’s still a lovely fantasy!)
The good news is it’s basically impossible to tell from this image whether she’s dominating him, he’s dominating her, or they’re just two pleasantly vanilla people who started out making out on the couch and ended up doing this with no particular agenda at all.
When I saw it through my filters I immediately assumed he’s topping her. She’s bent over the arm of the couch. She’s on her knees for him. She seems lost in the place I want my partner to be when I’ve taken charge. He’s actually lazily enjoying her “dance” while she does most of the work. His hand is on her ankle symbolizes his ability to restrain her.
I’m sure someone else’s filters say she’s humping his face, she’s on top, she knows he can’t see her face so she’s just lazily resting her head on her shoulders, and his hand on her ankle is to let her know if she gets too rough.
And vanilla people might see it as “when we’re making out each next step made sense while we were making out on the couch but yeah, now you mention it it would have made more sense if we’d taken it to the bedroom… but mmmm, felt too good to think about anything else!”
And that last bit? The bit about “felt too good to think about anything else?” That, my dear kinky friends, is one thing vanilla people get that most of us don’t. Because “this feels fucking amazing but you shouldn’t be on top because you’re the Sub” said no vanilla person ever!
Update with a tip of the hat to @ds040152: And someone who’s just all done with that might see that she looks bored (him too.) I mean, it is porn, and when you’re on the clock in front of a camera and a crew of producers, lighting and sound people, camera operators, and directors of photography… it’s just what you do until quitting time.
By Thomas Oldenough | May 17, 2019 | Comments Off on Don’t feel too smug about your “kinks” making you different, radical, or new.
Good to remember that not that long ago every one of the actions in these photos would have been considered “kinky.” Also immoral, shameful, and possibly illegal.
Lights on? Nope.
Reproduction only? No.
Missionary position? Ahaha!
Naked and not even under the covers?
Lounging around shamelessly after doing “the deed?”
Don’t feel too smug about your “kinks” making you different, radical, or new. This decade’s kink may be next decade’s vanilla pudding.
