Posts Tagged ‘fucking me’
Sometimes I don’t think men realize how important intimacy is before sex. Yeah like I know we are gonna fuck. But sometimes I wanna lay with you and make out and just have you touch me all over and slip a hand between my legs for a while so that after its all over I can think of the way your hands scorched across my skin. I wont ever forget.
Wait. Seriously? Pretty sure even when I was a callow, pimply-faced youth I still had sense (and sensuality… and self-respect!!!) enough to want to take my time, enjoy goddamn *sex* and not just a quick little jackrabbitery before doing… what? What else could you possibly want to do if you’ve got a warm, wonderful, naked woman next to you?
Honestly. Guys worry so much about “premature ejaculation,” and maybe they’re ashamed of themselves? Maybe they think “two-pump chimp” is a *complement?*. But fact is that stories about “blue balls” notwithstanding, the benefit of “foreplay,”. (It’s really sex) for men is it takes us longer to come, just like it help our partners take less time to come.
And puhlease don’t tell me that spending an hour kissing and being kissed, touching and being touched, holding someone and being held, licking someone and being licked, doesn’t add up to some *supreme* sexual pleasures of their own, even before you get to intercourse!
Bottom line: foreplay isn’t “fore” anything. It’s already sex!
It’s like thunder, lightning
The way you love me is frightening
You better knock, knock on wood, baby
– Amil Stewart
Everyone talks as though penis-in-vagina sex was the most natural thing in the world. Eh. Sure. For humans walking, throwing a rock, and talking are all totally “natural” but we don’t do any of those things perfectly the first time either.
That’s not a problem, by the way. It’s a lot of fun learning. Unless you think you’ve failed if it doesn’t go perfectly first time every time.
Take your time. Work together. Don’t leave (unintended) bruises. Don’t blame yourself or your partner. But also don’t give up.
penetrate (v.)
1520s, from Latin penetratus, past participle of penetrare “to put or get into, enter into,” related to penitus “within, inmost,” penus “innermost part of a temple, store of food,” penates “household gods.”
– Entymonline.com
Back in the 20th Century sex was basically defined as someone with a penis penetrating someone else. It’s worth noting that an earlier meaning could imply putting or taking within. They really couldn’t conceive of “penetration” any other way than something a penis-owner wanted that their partner submitted to (however enthusiastically.)
Point being that when we’re fucking I’m not the only one doing the penetrating, am I? When we’re fucking we’re fucking!
I’ve never tried a pillow under my back or hips during sex but see it done a lot. Soooooo my question is, Why are pillows under the hips so important during sex or maybe what’s the point?
Oh there are a bunch of reasons why people do this! I think the most common reason given is to create a better or at least different alignment for vaginal or possibly anal intercourse. Another is that it can be more comfortable for some people. Yet another is it can help if one or both of you have a bad back. It can also be sort of a “presentation” thing since it can raise your naughty bits for looking, touching, or tasting.
As for the alignment business, depending on how you place the pillows you can increase or decrease the depth of penetration, make it easier for the partner with the cock to reach their partner’s g-spot, prostate, or other inner hotspots, it can create much better contact between one partner’s clitoris and the other partner’s pubic bone. And, again depending on how you use it, it can help increase friction on a penis if more is needed, or reduce it if, say, one or both partners has a concern about “premature ejaculation.”
Plus it can just be for fun. Or laziness. Or variety. Or…
My best recommendation would be to try it and see if you like it.
Awesome if you do, don’t worry if you don’t.
Missionary
“Missionary is so boring.”
“Get creative!”
“Missionary is so vanilla.”
Yeah, well, all I can say in response to that is when I’m on my back with my hands tied behind me, when he has one hand around the back of my neck and one hand around my waist, when my feet are hanging off the bed so I can’t get any leverage, when the most active thing I can do is clench around his cock while he is using me hard and extracting every ounce of everything i have just to pleasure himself until he collapses in a satisfied heap, spent but still with energy to kiss me deeply and look into my eyes and tell me that he hopes this was a good reminder that I’m his?
I’ll take that any day.
D/s is a mindset, not a position.
OMG, missionary is sooooo D/S! Never forget that the same Victorians who came up with pretty much all our modern tropes about BDSM are the same ones who cooked up “missionary” sex.
I mean if you’re in the middle of vanilla bed death and only do rear-entry, or only do fellatio and cunnilingus after the Colbert monologue it’s not like you’re suddenly inspired and creative, right? So it’s not the position that’s the problem, right?
Meanwhile the goddamn “missionaries” invented the position specifically for orgasm denial!
Meanwhile what, exactly, could be less dominating than a 220 pound man pinning his 110 or 160 or 180 pound partner under him, his legs keeping her from being able to close her knees, his weight on her body, his cock finding its way inside her and driving her relentlessly into the mattress while she desperately tries to grind her clit up against him for a little contact… while she hears his animal breathing against her neck and shoulders and in his hoarse breath and low curses whispering in her ear as he uses her body like a rag doll?
For instance. 🤷♂️
Just saying that if you’re bored you’re probably boring.
Also, not to put too fine a point on it but do you actually even know what vanilla is?
It’s an orchid! An epiphyte! It’s native to gorgeous tropical islands. There’s an obvious reason why Georgia O’Keefe painted one. Its flavor enhances everything from chocolate to bourbon to bacon to creme brulee! If you use it right it tastes goddamn wonderful!
Again, if you’re bored you might just be boring.
Forget “doggie style, how about Wolf style instead?
Speaking of wolves…
I’ve probably mentioned that I hate the term “doggie style.” Or “doggie position .”
It was coined by people who didn’t approve. So of all the mammals that mount from behind they choke the one who’s compulsive fucking style is the least easy to respect.
Fuck that.
I might call you “puppy” sometimes, kittycat, but I’ll never fuck you “doggie” style.
Let’s fuck like wolves!
Reflections on the politics and fetishization of virginity
Pretty much everything about “virginity” is connected with very old political and economic concerns about verifying paternity. That’s… about it. In technical and legal terms men can’t get pregnant and so while they can have sex for the first time, and even make a big, romantic and/or macho deal out of it, calling it “losing his virginity” is basically a participation prize. For instance nobody’s ever stoned a man to death for losing his “virginity.” As opposed to what happens way to often to girls around the world, including white middle-class Europe and America.
Historically (including many parts of the world today) “losing” one’s virginity isn’t about Teh Sex but about sealing economic or political mergers between families. (The literal meaning of lower-case p patriarchy.) Actually it’s the offspring of marriages that literally seal the deal, so being able to confirm that children were the man’s offspring was and some places still is of vital importance.
Now there’s genetic testing the traditional significance applied to virginity would be quaint… if it weren’t so murderous.
There are still associations with Teh Sex, however. Thanks to its relative scarcity and associated risks, virginity has been one of the biggest, oldest male fetishes for millennia.
The most ridiculous expression of this fetish was from an ostensible “sex expert” who claimed that sex with a virgin was so fabulously pleasurable for the man that he would come the instant he penetrated her… something that could never happen again. Do not ask me how, in any universe, such premature ejaculation would be desirable for either the woman or the man. And of course it’s batshit crazy.
As someone with an embarrassing amount of thirdhand, secondhand, and first hand experience I can actually testify that at least in terms of pure sensation for the man, intercourse feels exactly the same whether it’s the woman’s 1st or her 100th or 1000th time.
It’s worth pointing out that virginity might still be a fun kink. But it’s also worth pointing out that as with other kinks it’s just as much fun if neither party has been a virgin for years. (Even in very hard-core BDSM does anyone mind that the Sub hasn’t been literally, legally condemned to imprisonment and torture, for instance?)
Recommendation: Outside of intentional kink situations try saying “The first time I had intercourse” instead of “When I ‘lost’ my virginity.” Say “I haven’t had intercourse yet” instead of “I’m still a virgin.” And instead of saying “I want to lose my virginity to you” say “I haven’t had intercourse before but I’d like to have it with you.”
Nobody has to do this. I’m just suggesting it. But if you look at the thoroughly unromantic, legalistic, and small-beans patriarchy behind the word “virginity,” carrying on about it is roughly as romantic as signing closing documents when purchasing a new home. Which, unfortunately, is a historically apt comparison.
So many people are so weird about this. Like… it’s not “natural” for you to touch yourself because a dick should “naturally” be enough!
But, seriously, nature gives a couple four hands and only one dick.
Besides, it’s so hot when you don’t hold back.