This, actually. I’m a very earnest kinky Daddy. I’ll cheerfully fuck your freshly spanked ass without loosening my grip on the belt around your throat, and then solemnly stay up all night helping you prep for a big presentation in the morning, make you breakfast, and mean it when I say, from the bottom of my heart, “go get em, tiger.”
Clits are always sooo cute. I mean what’s not to like?!?? They’re pretty. They feel wonderful under my fingertips. They feel lovely against my tongue. You make quite little squirmy moves and squeaky noises when I do those things. So again, what’s not to like?
You’ve heard of orgasm denial, I’m sure. And forced orgasms too (though tbh I’m not sure how many people really say “no, don’t give me an orgasm!”)
But me? I’m into consensual orgasms. I’m declaring it part of consensual Domination, which I’m starting to adore.
“If you agree to come to my office with me I’m going to kiss you passionately in the elevator, manhandle you while I open the door, bend you over my desk, reach between your legs, and rub your little button until you come.
By Thomas Oldenough | November 11, 2019 | Comments Off on Hi, I’ve just started talking to a guy. He is vastly more vanilla than I am, but I’ve been talking to him about trying more kinky things. More basic like light spanking, letting him be a little more in control, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary yet. I was wondering how to not scare him with kinker ideas and, hopefully, application of them. Thank you
Good question! Sounds like you’re into things that might be kinkier than he’s comfortable with? And you’d like to do more with him… or more accurately you’d like him to do more with you, without coming on “too strong?” Just want to make sure. Please let me know if I’ve missed an important point, ok?
I can’t speak for all guys but if it was me (hey, it has been me in the past!) then two things would work really well.
First, “slow and steady wins the race.” Let him try those nothing-out-of-the-ordinary things with you first. And see how he likes it. Vanilla people, men especially, can take a little time to digest what a lot of us already know. What you’re a living example of: Submission is its own kink, and that what you want him to do is almost by-definition is rough but not violent, domineering but not abusive.
And don’t get me wrong – we want people to be reluctant about violence and abuse! And it’s actually a good thing to have a responsible Sub (you are going to be responsible) to help them learn how to distinguish them. (I say you’re going to be responsible because the last thing we want is him doing those things before he understands the difference.)
Second: Let him know that the idea of him doing those things with, to, and for you makes you wet and happy. Most men enjoy that idea rather a lot. Even more for someone they actually care about.
If you’re still really in the “just started talking” part of a relationship and not “bring your toothbrush in your bag” stage, it’s an even better time to talk to him about it. Being a Sub, even a hungry, horny one, doesn’t mean you’re necessarily hop in the sack with him right away. So it’s ok to talk about not just boundaries and limits but wants and desires before you get around to doing them. Just be clear those are ideals you have in mind, not that it’s either an invitation or a laundry list for him.
Oh, one last thing: let him know about the difference between “topping from the bottom” and mentoring him. Be clear that your intention really is to Submit to him – and that at each point it will be his decision what he chooses to do based on your feedback.
That said (since this is advice for everybody and not just you) it’s still his choice! He might not want to be a Dom. He might not want to be much of a Dom. Or not one all the time. You have to be ok with that too – boundaries, limits, and consent go both ways.
Let me know what you think. Feel free to show him this post too. I want both of you to succeed and be happy with who you both are and not who either things they or the other is “supposed” to be.
Comments Off on Hi, I’ve just started talking to a guy. He is vastly more vanilla than I am, but I’ve been talking to him about trying more kinky things. More basic like light spanking, letting him be a little more in control, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary yet. I was wondering how to not scare him with kinker ideas and, hopefully, application of them. Thank you
By Thomas Oldenough | November 11, 2019 | Comments Off on thanks for being a positive role model to the men on this site who don’t know how to properly dom and instead say uncomfortable and scary things to us subs
Thanks for your kind words. I say what I do to remind myself, too, not just others. Because I haven’t always been a good role model. So thank you!
Seriously. On an old blog my tag line was “learning from my mistakes so you won’t have to.” It’s still true. I’ve surely made enough of them.
It’s human to learn from your own mistakes. It’s civilized to learn from the mistakes of others. Be civilized.
Comments Off on thanks for being a positive role model to the men on this site who don’t know how to properly dom and instead say uncomfortable and scary things to us subs
To take a bath with my dom and have them slowly and careful wash me making sure not to touch any of my private parts (other than an ‘accidental’ brush) then start to finger me under the guise of cleaning me then getting angry at me for cumming and getting all dirty again and spanking me for being so messy
Funny, I’ve got a fantasy that’s almost exactly like this. Who wants to join me for some good clean fun?
