Posts Tagged ‘boundaries’
Daddy will always fill you upđ
I had a vasectomy right after my last planned, wanted child was born. So it comes to impregnation-play kinks Iâm just a crash-test Daddy. But because Iâve had a vasectomy we can play that game responsibly, canât we? Again and again.
Just because Iâm poly, doesnât mean I want to pursue every possible relationship opportunity that presents itself.
Just because Iâm poly and a Domme, doesnât mean that I want a harem of subs.
Just because Iâm poly, doesnât mean that I want to flirt with or fuck everyone I meet.
It means that when the time is right, with the right person, under the perfect circumstances, I have room in my heart for them.
Thank you! Oh my goodness this is so well said!
Just like being bisexual doesnât mean you want to have sex with everybody, being poly doesnât mean you want to be in a relationship with everybody. Â
And not to put too fine a point on it but just because someoneâs monogamous doesnât mean they still donât like flirting, at least, and sometimes even fucking! (Letâs check our stereotypes about monogamy too, theyâre also demonstrably wrong.)
There are some extraordinarily prim but still authentically poly people out there in what amounts to lifelong âmonogamousâ relationships that just happen to be with two partners instead of one. But even for those who are profligately promiscuous, their polyamory does not automatically give you a free pass into their beds.
Been really enjoying the idea of consent Domination lately, obviously because it meshes so well with my non-Dom D/Lg Daddy instincts.Â
Consent works both ways, though. I mean, consent Submission like what sheâs doing? Thatâs also very hot, isnât it, kittywhistle?
While consent is non-negotiable, and while it must be verbal if thereâs even a hint of ambiguity it must be confirmed verbally, sometimes thereâs no ambiguity at all, is there, pencil nub?
“I don’t have to justify what I say! You just have to reaize I’m God incarnate on earth and everything I say is true and you must believe it without a question!”
No, I donât have to justify what I say, and you are free to not believe it.
The idea of âyou donât owe intellectual work to strangersâ isnât that you win arguments automatically. Itâs that you can walk away and forfeit the game, and maybe your point is never really proven, but your life goes on and the world keeps on turning.
This is so important! Saying no isnât a way to âwin.â Itâs a way to stop playing.
This makes me soooo happy because…Â Â
- Politely asking
- Getting a polite answer
- “wouldnât send it all willy nilly?!?!â đđ
Perfect âdad jokeâ in the sense that a good dad joke is the solemn acknowledgment of a possibly tense situation phrased in a way that helps soften or defuse it.
On D/Lg and Agency
Why does no one seem to realize the most important thing? Regardless of if DDLG was all about littles acting as kids and having that as a turn on. littles are over the age, and can CONSENT TO SEXUAL ACTIVITY. Daddies or doms may be attracted to anything just like everyone else in the world but they have relationships with OTHER ADULTS, in a CONSENTIAL MANNER. So where does that even become remotely close to pedophiles where they are attracted to children who CANNOT consent. There is a difference
Thank you for bringing this up. While my erstwhile correspondent was single-mindedly obsessed with the motivation of Daddies, the key difference is that unlike pedophilia, non-consensual sexual assault, genuine misogyny or misandry, and domestic violence, in power-exchange kinks the Little, Sub, Prey, âBimbo,â or Masochist is an active and autonomous agent pursuing and frequently initiating their own, usually erotic gratification.
By definition a child does not have agency. Itâs this lack of agency more than anything else that makes consent inadmissible. Even if the victim says âyes.â
This is particularly important considering how many child abusers claim their victim âwantedâ whatever was done. Letâs take a little side-trip to explore why thatâs 100% pure and utter gaslighting, self-serving, criminal bullshit.
Consider a more âneutralâ case: an adult whoâs drunk enough alcohol that theyâre too drunk to drive â drunk enough that any reasonable, responsible bystander would ask for their keys and call a cab if the drunk tried to leave. Someone that drunk is generally still able to speak, and to âmake decisions.â In fact there would be no cause to ask for car keys had the drunk not âdecidedâ they were going to drive home!
Now consider an adult drunk enough to have their car keys taken away instead announces theyâre horny, and when some rando says âIâll fuck youâ the drunk clearly and even enthusiastically announces âhell yeah you can fuck my drunky-wunky ass anytime, baybeee.â
Can we say at that point that the drunk has agency, or that despite their evident enthusiasm theyâre capable of competent consent?
No. No they are not. Being able to say the words, or even initiating sexual contact does not automatically constitute consent.
Itâs the same thing with minor children. If it were not so then an abuser could get away with saying âwhen I offered them candy they voluntarily and enthusiastically got into my van.â
A minor child, like an intoxicated adult, does not have the agency to give competent, credible consent. They just donât.
Which brings us back to adult bottoms in power-exchange kink relationships. As @beautifuly-damaged says in her ask, adult Littles are capable, autonomous adults who can give informed, active, and competent consent. As active and independent adult agents, not only are Littles and other bottoms in kink able to consent, theyâre able to initiate sexual activities with their partners for their own gratification.
Thatâs a⊠rather major difference.
One can wonder why, as the previous anon did, what might motivate another consenting adult to agree to participate as a top with a power-exchange bottom. But the anonâs level of angst, dismay, concern⊠or prurient interest and/or social signaling should take into account the active, independent, and even initiating agency of the bottoms who seek them out.
Anyway, big, big hatâs off, @beautifuly-damaged, for highlighting that night-and-day difference. And thanks for letting me dadâsplain about it too.
me: iâm horny
me when anyone whoâs not the one (1) person i made the post directed at interacts with me:
@radioactivepussyââs hashtags are really great too!
#this is about men who slide into my dms and send dick pics
#mutuals you are loved and welcome to interact
But. Yeah. Iâve mentioned previously that possibly the most embarrassing, humiliating, but also enlightening moment for me happened when a girl sitting next to me in my car, after weâd been talking for hours, pushed her hands between her legs and said âI. Just. Want. To. Fuck.â
And she did! Â
Very badly.Â
Just not by me.
Luckily I only said something like âme too, letâs go somewhere and fuckâ as opposed to putting my hand between her legs. But she clarified rather… well… clearly that I wasnât who sheâd had in mind.
Also, yeah, even if someone says âI want you, [your name here], to come over right now, this minute, so we can fuck each other, Iâm texting you my address and GPS coordinates right nowâ then still donât send her a goddamn pic of your dick, mâkay?
ppl should learn basic anatomy. Physical responses does not equal consent.
Say it louder for the people in the back!!
PHYSICAL RESPONSES DO NOT EQUAL CONSENT!!!!
Say it with me!!!!
PHYSICAL RESPONSES DO NOT EQUAL CONSENT!!!!
DICKS CAN GET HARD WHEN A GUY IS FEELING ANY STRONG EMOTION INCLUDING FEAR
AN ERECTION DOESNT ALWAYS MEAN THEYRE HORNY OR THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX
STOP ACTING LIKE AN ERECTION IS PROOF THAT A PERSON WAS IN THE MOOD TO FUCK
HE WAS RAPED
Dicks can get hard in guys sleep, doesnât give you permission to do anything to/with it, same with guys being passed out
Women often get wet when theyâre being raped too. Does that suddenly mean sheâs not being raped anymore? Nope! Itâs almost like your body and your mind arenât the same thing and just because your body does something, it doesnât mean your mind wants it or consents to it!Â
Also, have these people seriously missed out on the whole âteen boys bopping boners in the middle of class for no reasonâ thing or are they just that sexist?
Donât know anything else about them but yeah, what @angelic-king, @basicconstant15â and @largic said! Physical reflexes â consent.
This is a giant fucking problem that the general public doesnât know this.
âI know you want it, a hard dick / wet pussy doesnât lieâ is perhaps the biggest goddamn gaslight ever. Evidently every serial rapist figures this out very quickly. And exploits it ruthlessly – âyou were hard/wet so no one will believe you.â Which, as fucking dickwad RayHaluskaStatsStuff demonstrates, is often the bitter truth.
But also what the goddamn fucking hell is he on about with that âLifetime Rule of Dibs?â What even the fuck?
Look, pinheads and puddledroppers, someone says no mid-stroke it still means no. Let alone later that night. Let alone next week. Let alone ever again.
Maybe you donât think thatâs how it works but thatâs how it work!