Posts Tagged ‘daddy do’s and don’ts’
Hi! (I love your blogđ) Do you have a partner? Or are you the Daddy of many kittens without commitment?? Just wondering :) I feel like you would be great as a husband idk why lol
Thanks for your kind words. I seem to have been a very good father, but Iâm afraid Iâm a much better Daddy than I was or would be a husband. What makes me attractive in small doses drives most people crazy in large doses. As someone once said, âgoddam, your girlfriend could you replace you with a vibrator, a hot water bottle, and an encyclopedia!â đ
Sigh. Sometimes I think they were right. Well except for forehead kisses. Iâm very good at forehead kisses. And nose boops. And kissing on the couch. Iâm pretty good at those things.
When doms grab you by the jaw and smoosh your cheeks in a little then trace their thumb across your bottom lip. Mhm.
I… like to do that! Little bit cruel but always tempered with a little reassuring sweetness. So you feel like youâre on an adventure and not an ordeal.
u ever get jealous over something u have no right to be jealous over so u just sit there like⊠ok
Ahahaha! Oh boy, does anybody not?
Itâs the best worst feeling in the world?
Even poly people get jealous when they know they donât need to be. Itâs one of the ways feelings give zero fucks about thoughts! So we sit there going âthis is sooo dumb…â while eating our livers till our shoes donât fit on our feet!
The good news is that if we canât prevent feelings like jealousy we canât reason with them like grownups but we can acknowledge them then distract them like little kids.
Instead of telling ourselves we shouldnât feel jealous (Ahahah, like that ever works!) we can say âyes, I feel really bad that my bestie has a new sweetie and wonât come over. If they did i could give them a big hug and we could play that game we talked about so much. But they do have a new sweetie, donât they? So weâll have to with a little and theyâll come play that game with us. So letâs call [Pat] and see if they want to do something.â
Acknowledge, sympathize, speak to the loss, accept it, *then* try moving on to plan B. Feelings wonât really go away till you admit and accept them.
Note: sometimes youâll have to rinse and repeat. But it gets better each time.
Yeah, Tinder hookups and 6:00 AM âwalks of shameâ are all well and good (well, except for the shame part!) But till youâve spent the morning making and drinking coffee together while getting to know each other a little better? Thatâs paradise!
Doesnât matter if itâs a random hookup, a casual fling, and old flame, or your life companion of many years, thereâs always something new to learn about each other over coffee.
As for that âwalk of shame?â Seriously. Whatâs to be ashamed of? You got drunk and rubbed your pee-pees together?  Big deal! That makes you different from roughly 4/5th of the rest of humanity exactly how?
But sharing coffee together this morning? Or just tea or orange juice, or just cuddles this morning? That right there is paradise.
hiiii sorry this will probably be a dumb question but iâm super shy (like will pass out in front of a crowd shy) but iâm also really needy and my husband loves it but i feel like they donât go together? sorry english isnât my first language
Hi! Itâs not a dumb question. Forgive my English (as a first language) for not understanding part of it though. Feel free to send me a private/direct message if youâd like to clarify. Â
Since youâre shy and might be self-conscious about messaging me directly Iâm going to try to repeat your question though, and then answer it as best I can. Would that be ok?
It sounds like youâre saying youâre really needy, and that your husband loves it, but youâre also so shy you could pass out in front of a crowd. Ordinarily those two things might seem fine but youâre concerned they donât go together.
1) This is only a guess, remember, but could you be saying that even though youâre really shy your husband likes to tease you till you beg him to do things for you? Perhaps in a way that goes against your sense of being a âgood girl?â If so then thatâs a pretty common thing for dominant and sadistic partners to do. Whatâs important is whether you like it too. Â
If you do like it or donât mind it then great – good girls, and shy girls, can be *very* needy when theyâre aroused without it saying anything about what kind of person they are when theyâre not aroused. Weâre often very different people when we are and arenât aroused and thereâs nothing wrong with that.
If you donât like it then itâs ok to tell your husband that while you love him and want to have sex with him you donât consent to him teasing you that way. (Do you think you could do that?)
2) Another guess could be that even though youâre really shy could it be that when youâre aroused you get really vocal and take actions that seem unlike your regular not-aroused self?
If thatâs true, and if your husband enjoys that youâre that way too, then as I said above thereâs nothing wrong with that at ail. Once again, who we are when weâre aroused can be very different from who we are in day-to-day life. Youâre just as good a person, a wife, a family member, a member of society no matter how ânaughtyâ you are during sex. Â
I still feel like I may have misinterpreted you. And depending on your English skills I hope my sentences havenât been too complicated. So Iâll repeat my invitation to message me to clarify.
Finally, since youâre shy I want you to know that I believe private messages are private – I wonât ever willingly share something anyone says in a private message. So I wonât tease you, reveal you, or reveal anything you say without your permission. If youâre still not comfortable itâs ok to leave another Ask like this one, even though itâll be harder to have a back-and-forth conversation.
Again, not a dumb question at all. And unless Iâm really mistaken youâre talking about a feeling that lots of people have. And worry about even though they donât need to.
Thanks again for asking!
Ahahah! Yeah, this!
WTF with people thinking random gay people need to try switching orientations just to âmake sure?â When, yeah, most of the folks who say it wouldnât want to try it.
Look. There are almost always plenty of people whoâd want to have sex with you if youâd just give them a chance. If you donât think so youâre probably just not paying attention.
So why go out of your way for someone who clearly doesnât want to?
Iâm not going to knock those with an orgasm-denial kink. I get the vague impression itâs sort of like leaving ice cream in the freezer because youâll enjoy the anticipation. But Iâm never going to understand it either because for me not giving a partner orgasms feels about like not playing my guitar. I wouldnât know what to do with my hands!Â
Iâd rather have you say âplease, no more!â đ
Donât forget that Submission is its own kink, feel sorry for Doms who do…
So if you donât think Submission is its own, independent, autonomous, and equal kink and is instead all about your masterly/mistressly domly self then try the following thought experiment: how long would they stay with you if you stopped topping them?
If theyâre only Submissive because youâre Dominant the correct answer will be âforever, of course, because Iâm so awesome theyâre magically magnetized to me!â If theyâre Submissive because Submission is its own craving though… its own kink…
Well…
The correct answer might be something else, hmm?
This is just one of the reasons why I capitalize the S in Submissive as well as the D in Dom.
So I was at a munch with my dom and they asked the subs to go around and say what our most recent punishment my Daddy said I didnât have to but I did I got lines for forgetting to drink my whole water bottle three times itâs a rule Iâm very new to submission so Daddy wasnât even mad They told me Iâm bad for doing that and they were shocked I only got limes and how I deserve worse Am I really bad Daddy stopped them and took me home and weâre not going back but is he just being nice
No, he is being a good and loving Dom who recognizes that punishment should be proportional to the infraction, and who recognizes that how the two of you âdo D/sâ is your decision, not those bunch of people, who sound like idiots to me.Â
Wow. I have never had a munch experience like this where I was forced to answer some question, let alone being judged for that response. Hopefully you can find a different munch in your area, anon. Iâve been to several in my area, and zero of them has been like this.
Ahahah! What a total violation of munch protocol! Also D/S protocol! Â
Not to sound prickly but itâs roughly the equivalent of asking the Exhibitionists to go around and flash their asses. And then calling someone bad a bad Exhibitionist because they didnât want to.
âOh, but weâre only talking about erotic punishments so itâs ok.â No, youâre talking about group humiliation-play on all the Subs.
The âgoodâ news is that it sounds like the munch was for folks who share a very particular and narrow definition of âhigh protocolâ or somesuch nonsense. The bad news is that, like a lot of âcommunitiesâ they manage to alienate pretty much everyone who doesnât share that particularly narrow definition.
Thereâs a reason why the vast majority of kinksters donât get involved in the local âcommunity.â Itâs usually because itâs not really much of a community at all.
That said! Thereâs also nothing wrong with saying âwait a minute, is this really appropriate for a munch?â Even if youâre new. Itâs one of those âsee something, say somethingâ situations. Â
all the guys ive been with have been so greedy so i have never actually gotten to sit down in front of a dick and actually explore it the way I want to, its always dictated by them like do this and do that amd facefucking and sometimes i didnt even want to. i just want to be with a nice guy and i want to feel a desire for his body and get to touch him and taste him because i want to, the way i want to, not unwillingly be dictated by him. is that crazy?
not crazy at all having sex is like being part of a team, you should be striving towards the benefit of everyone involved
it takes two to tango, and if both of y’all ainât getting what they want then what the fucks the point?
Ok. Look. Doesnât matter how ding-dang-diddly Domly you are, if youâve got a dick… and a body for that matter… youâve got to give your sweetie a chance to get to know you like this.
As a near-obligate top this lesson was unbelievably hard to learn, by the way. But someone said âlet me do this, I need you to.â And so I did. But it turned out to be so worth it that I can honestly say I wasnât a good lover till I let her discover me.
Because we can get so tied up (haha) with our notions about CNC and domination and power exchanging and (for us D/Lg types)Â âDaddy knows best,â plus 10,000 gendered jokes itâs easy to forget that our partners actively want us too!
Kinky partners are still partners!Â