Feel sorry for the folks who can’t see that Masochists have their own autonomous kink that’s independent of any partner. Having agency, they can and do act to initiate S&M interaction rather than simply responding to their partner’s initiative.
Feel sorry for the folks who can’t see that Littles have their own autonomous kink that’s independent of any partner. Having agency, they can and do act to initiate D/Lg interaction rather than simply responding to their partner’s initiative.
Feel sorry for the folks who can’t see that Littles have their own autonomous kink that’s independent of any partner. Having agency, they can and do act to initiate D/Lg interaction rather than simply responding to their partner’s initiative.
If you don’t understand that being a D/Lg Little or D/S Sub or S&M Masochist is it’s own active, independent, autonomous kink you won’t be able to understand kink at all. Not even a little bit!
I’d add, incidentally, that because of this it’s important for Littles, Subs, and other bottoms remember that it’s just as important for you to get consent and respect boundaries when you initiate play. Especially with a new partner.
That’s one of the things I mean I mean by people not understanding D/Lg or D/S, by the way. It’s just so baked into our stereotypes that Littles or Subs are always and exclusively under the thumb of their top that it simply never occurs to them that as active agents with your own agenda a kinky bottom wants what you want. And it’s even less well understood, even in the kink community, that you have your own responsibilities as well as rights.
And meanwhile, yes, if we’ve been properly introduced then of course you can sit in my lap, papercut!
I had a vasectomy right after my last planned, wanted child was born. So it comes to impregnation-play kinks I’m just a crash-test Daddy. But because I’ve had a vasectomy we can play that game responsibly, can’t we? Again and again.
Just because I’m poly, doesn’t mean I want to pursue every possible relationship opportunity that presents itself.
Just because I’m poly and a Domme, doesn’t mean that I want a harem of subs.
Just because I’m poly, doesn’t mean that I want to flirt with or fuck everyone I meet.
It means that when the time is right, with the right person, under the perfect circumstances, I have room in my heart for them.
Thank you! Oh my goodness this is so well said!
Just like being bisexual doesn’t mean you want to have sex with everybody, being poly doesn’t mean you want to be in a relationship with everybody.
And not to put too fine a point on it but just because someone’s monogamous doesn’t mean they still don’t like flirting, at least, and sometimes even fucking! (Let’s check our stereotypes about monogamy too, they’re also demonstrably wrong.)
There are some extraordinarily prim but still authentically poly people out there in what amounts to lifelong “monogamous” relationships that just happen to be with two partners instead of one. But even for those who are profligately promiscuous, their polyamory does not automatically give you a free pass into their beds.
While consent is non-negotiable, and while it must be verbal if there’s even a hint of ambiguity it must be confirmed verbally, sometimes there’s no ambiguity at all, is there, pencil nub?
Dominance is not about control over a submissive. Dominance is about leading and the submissive following. These words have been said thousands of times by thousands of people. I suspect it will continue to be said for many years to come.
Submissives do not seek people to control them. They seek a leader that proves time and time again that they are qualified to follow.
Mistakes happen. Wrong decisions are made. It’s how you handle those decisions that make you reliable and trustworthy.
Once again… Ding
Always re blog this
So nicely said. It’s also not the case that “the Sub has the power.” It’s that in a real kink relationship you want to be there. Otherwise you can walk away same as a Dom can.
Not all Doms or Daddies get this. Not all Subs or Littles do either.
But it’s essential to real D/S and D/Lg. We’re both actively fulfilling our respective roles or it’s just abuse or codependence.
Dominance is leading as in ballroom dancing. In meta conversation as when off the dance floor we’re just us.
By Thomas Oldenough | September 17, 2019 | Comments Off on “I don’t have to justify what I say! You just have to reaize I’m God incarnate on earth and everything I say is true and you must believe it without a question!”
No, I don’t have to justify what I say, and you are free to not believe it.
The idea of “you don’t owe intellectual work to strangers” isn’t that you win arguments automatically. It’s that you can walk away and forfeit the game, and maybe your point is never reallyproven, but your life goes on and the world keeps on turning.
This is so important! Saying no isn’t a way to “win.” It’s a way to stop playing.
Comments Off on “I don’t have to justify what I say! You just have to reaize I’m God incarnate on earth and everything I say is true and you must believe it without a question!”
