Posts Tagged ‘real daddies / fake daddies’

elexania:

sincardinality:

Does this friend think that submissive men can’t be managers or CEOs? Because I know that’s very much a thing.

I’m very much what is referred to commonly as an “alpha submissive”. I am a strong ass, independent, intelligent woman who handles her shit. I work in a male dominated industry, where I have to be better because if not, I wouldn’t be respected. Between customers not trusting the information I give them because I lack a penis, or from the sales reps, distributors and accounts people I deal with daily, I need to be on my game. I have earned respect, and am sought out for my expertise and assistance by my compatriots in my industry now. But when I am not handling my business, there is nothing I crave more than crawling into Daddy’s lap and being smol. I do not age regress (at least not in the way that is generally thought of), but that safe place and the vulnerability his presence allows is necessary and allows me to be in the place I need. Do NOT let some clueless asshat take away your identity, or tell you how you fail or aren’t a true submissive. Be you, be smol, go into your little space and embrace and love it. Just also be proud of your badass, business handling self 💗

I’m not a giant fan of the word “alpha submissive” for reasons the very assertive Submissive Elia Winters nicely articulated in her blog a few years ago

instructor144:

Whoever told you that is a fucking idiot who doesn’t understand what being a submissive means. Here’s a copy/paste from the vault of something I wrote ages ago that encapsulates it:

“I know submissives who wear jeans and t shirts and sneakers, who are bookworms, gamer chicks, RPG players, and programmer nerds. I know submissives who would break an ankle in short order if they tried to wear heels, and who would sooner be put on denial for a year than wear a dress. Submissives who rappel out of helicopters into fire, who run hundred milers, who squat more than their bodyweight, who box and MMA. Submissives who are EMS personnel, warfighters, police officers, trauma unit nurses, doctors, lawyers, ranchers, up and coming businesswomen, entrepreneurs, carpenters. In short, they are real, live human beings, just like you, and all are amazing submissives.”

The term “alpha sub” presumes that there is a default correlation between a person’s role in consensual power exchange – Dominant or submissive – and that person’s life outside of the bedroom. The term assumes that most sexual submissives are submissive all the time, so the ones who aren’t need a special term to define them. If you don’t identify as an alpha sub, you must just be a pushover. The fact that the term is used to define female subs rather than male subs speaks to another prejudice, that female subs are more likely to be “naturally submissive” all the time and therefore need a special term to define the “outliers” who, of course, aren’t really outliers at all. While well-intentioned, it’s another term that separates us and puts us in imaginary competition with each other. “Oh, I’m better than other subs. I’m an alpha sub.”
– Elia Winters

Point being that not all Submissives are kick-ass power-suiters… any more than Doms are for that matter.  Submissive is a kink not a class and definitely not a status.

That said?  Oh my fucking god I strive to be mild mannered, and I was raised to be and work hard at it.  But as the Quaker said when his cow kicked him and the milk bucket “nay, Bossie, I won’t strike thee… but on the morrow I’ll trade thee to the Baptist and he’ll beat the hell out of you.”

Whoever “advised” @instructor144′s Anon that you can’t be a Sub or (hackles definitely rising cause this is my turf!) can’t be a Little if you’re a competent, capable professional-caregiver adult!  Because just like you don’t have to be an “alpha” to be a Sub you sure as hell can be!  Fuck him and the horse he rode up on for spouting that kind of bullshit!

Others have already given the anon wonderful advice so I’m not preaching to the choir here – that sermon’s done said.

But (to continue my unexpected theological metaphor) I’d like to send the rest of you out in the world to spread the good word: kink in general and D/Lg in particular is not about age, or gender, or who’s on top, or who sucks what, or orientation, or whether you’re a dom or a sub, or whether you’re a brat or doormat, or occupation or education level.  It’s not about weight or height or experience level.  And oh dear god but it’s not about status or class!

You can be a Little if that’s what makes your heart beat a little faster, if that’s what feels like coming home, and it’s only extra credit if that’s what makes you hard or wet too – there are plenty of non-sexual Littles.  You can be a Little if that’s what makes you feel happy.  Or, if you’re usually gloomy, if that at least makes you happier.  And that’s it.  That’s all!  There are no other rules.

Honestly, what goes through people’s heads when they say shit like that to newcomers?  And as a Daddy, who’d say a thing like that to a beginning Little!!!

Ugh!!!  

Look.  To shift religions slightly, we’re all born with a bag of shit around our necks; our purpose in life is to take as much shit out of our bag as we’re able… without put it into anyone else’s bag.  And somebody dropped a fresh, stinky turd in that poor anon’s.

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